Bar Chart

Band 6+: Percentange of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK

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The image presents a bar chart depicting the percentage of people consuming five portions of fruit and vegetables daily in the UK from 2001 to 2008. In 2001, men 17%, women 22%, children 12%. In 2002, men 20%, women 25%, children 13%. In 2003, men 22%, women 26%, children 15%. In 2004, men 23%, women 28%, children 16%. In 2005, men 25%, women 30%, children 18%. In 2006, men 26%, women 32%, children 20%. In 2007, men 27%, women 31%, children 20%. In 2008, men 25%, women 32%, children 23%.

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The bar chart depicts the proportion of men, women, and children eating five portions of fruit and vegetables each day in UK from 2001 to 2008.

Overall, it was clear that the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables changed significantly during period, it showed a upward trend in first five years before decreased slightly. The proportion of women always reached the highest position, while children ate the least amount of fruit and vegetables.

In 2001, it was witnessed that the lowest percentage of people who ate fruit and vegetales, only over 10 percent, 15 percent, and 20 percent with children, men, and women respectively. Then, the figure for people continually increased. Suprisingly, through 6 years the data on proportion of people reached a top especially in women with over 30%.

Whereas, the percentage of people ate five fruit and vegetables slightly dropped and ending at proximately at 25 percent of children, 27 percent of men, and 30 percent of women.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 6

women: 5

fruit: 5

people: 5

children: 4

proportion: 3

vegetables: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key data points from the bar chart, providing a general overview of the changes in fruit and vegetable consumption among men, women, and children in the UK between 2001 and 2008. To improve, focus on providing more precise data references and avoid generalizations. Also, ensure that the concluding paragraph accurately reflects the final data points without introducing inaccuracies.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The 'Overall' paragraph provides a general trend, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear transitions and connections between the data points. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and create a smoother narrative. For example, use transition words like 'Subsequently,' 'However,' or 'In contrast' to guide the reader through the information. Also, avoid abrupt shifts in focus and ensure each sentence logically follows the previous one.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise. For example, 'figure for people continually increased' could be rephrased for better clarity and impact. To enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating synonyms and more specific terms related to trends and proportions. Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is consistently accurate and avoids any ambiguity.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect the clarity and accuracy of the writing. For instance, the sentence 'the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables changed significantly during period, it showed a upward trend in first five years before decreased slightly' has a run-on sentence and incorrect verb tense. Similarly, 'Whereas, the percentage of people ate five fruit and vegetables slightly dropped and ending at proximately at 25 percent of children, 27 percent of men, and 30 percent of women' has issues with sentence structure and word usage ('proximately' should be 'approximately'). To improve, focus on using correct sentence structure, verb tenses, and punctuation. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors.

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