Line Graph

Band 5+: Summarise the infomaion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The image presents a line graph with birth rates in China and the USA from 1920 to 2000; China's birth rate (%) starts at approximately 10 in 1920, rises to 15 in 1935, fluctuates near 13 in 1940, spikes to over 20 around 1950, peaks around 25 in 1950, declines sharply post-1955 to about 10 by 1960, decreases further to approximately 5 in 1995, and stabilizes near 2% by 2000; the USA's birth rate (%) begins at roughly 12 in 1920, stays near 11 until 1945, peaks at 15 around 1950, maintains 15 through 1960, drops steadily to 12 by 1978, and levels near 7% by 2000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The presented line graph gives information on the transformation of baby born percentage in different countries, China and United States, between 1920 and 2000. Overall, as a general trend, birth rates progressively declined in both of countries. In addition, USA was slightly higher then China in most of the year.

The percentage of new born in USA reached approximately 11% in 1920, which higher than China. Then, it oscilated with narrow range over 20 years, before expericend a sudden plunge in 1945 and surging back to 15% in 1950. Subsequently, it ran into a downward trend until 1985, after which it change intermittenly during 1985 until 2000.

The figure for China’s birth rates was initially almost as high as that for USA, with 10%. A similar patterns with USA, China also fluctuated over 20 years, before took a nosedive to 5% in during the year 1935 and 1940. Sequently, it skyrocketed to 20% in 1950, left USA behind, followed by a collapse drive in 1955. It fell steadily reached the bottomost point in 1985, before change sporadically in year 1985 until 2000.

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

china: 4

before: 3

until: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and makes some comparisons, satisfying the task requirements. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the report mentions a plunge in the USA birth rate in 1945, which isn't quite accurate as the rate remains relatively stable until then. Also, the report could benefit from more precise data references and a clearer structure. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and ensuring a logical flow of information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to highlight key trends, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, making it slightly difficult to follow the comparisons between China and the USA. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the data. For example, use phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'However' to draw direct comparisons or highlight differences. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear focus, such as one paragraph dedicated to the overall trends, and subsequent paragraphs detailing each country's specific fluctuations.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to describing trends, such as 'declined,' 'fluctuated,' 'surging,' and 'downward trend.' However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise and natural. For example, 'baby born percentage' could be replaced with 'birth rate.' To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to describing graphical data and practicing using these words in context. Also, pay attention to collocations (words that naturally go together) to enhance the fluency of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses ('expericend' instead of 'experienced'), subject-verb agreement issues ('USA was slightly higher then China'), and incorrect preposition usage ('in most of the year'). To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of prepositions. Proofreading carefully for these common errors can significantly enhance the accuracy of your writing.

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Band 5+: Summarise the infomaion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Answers On The Same Topic:

Summarise the infomaion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Summarise the infomaion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Summarise the infomaion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Summarise the infomaion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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