Bar Chart

Band 5+: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image displays a bar chart titled 'Academic staff percentages in faculties, by gender, 2012', showing the gender distribution across seven faculties. The percentages for Female (F) and Male (M) staff are as follows: Arts (F 55%, M 45%), Business (F 35%, M 65%), Education (F 75%, M 25%), Engineering (F 15%, M 85%), Law (F 40%, M 60%), Medicine (F 50%, M 49%), and Science (F 35%, M 65%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The illustration below provides information about academic staff, by gender, in different faculties of the University of Britain in 2012.

Overall, the most popular department among males was engineering, while most females preferred education.

In 2012, the education department reached approximately 75 women, which was the highest number compared with other aspects of the University. Whereas, the engineering faculty obtained only 17 female students. A significant result was reached by the arts and medicine departments, consisting of 45 plus female students in each. The law and science faculties had the same number of female students.

The male students were more interested in engineering than females, reaching a considerable 83 students in 2012. The business and science faculties attracted the same number of students, counting 65 students each. Moreover, the law faculty got 60 students, while the medicine and arts departments exceeded 40 students. The education aspect was not popular among male students, with only 25 students.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 10

faculties: 3

engineering: 3

number: 3

female: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report fails to accurately interpret the data type, which significantly impacts the task achievement. The visual description specifies that the chart shows 'percentages' of staff, but the report treats these figures as absolute numbers of 'students' (e.g., '75 women', '17 female students'). This is a fundamental error in data reporting. Additionally, the report describes the data in terms of 'popularity' and 'interest,' which is an inappropriate interpretation of a demographic distribution chart. To improve, ensure you distinguish between percentages and raw numbers, and focus on describing the proportions/distribution rather than inferring student preferences or popularity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report struggles with logical progression and the use of cohesive devices. There is a significant issue with sentence fragments, such as starting a sentence with 'Whereas', which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the organization of ideas is somewhat repetitive, as the report attempts to list data point by point rather than grouping them into meaningful comparisons. To improve, focus on using subordinating conjunctions to link ideas within a single sentence rather than starting new sentences with transition words that require a preceding clause.

Lexical Resource

There is a fundamental misunderstanding of the data type which affects lexical choice. The chart describes 'percentages of academic staff', but the report repeatedly refers to 'students' and 'numbers of students'. This is a major error in task achievement and lexical accuracy. Furthermore, the use of words like 'popular', 'preferred', and 'interested' is inappropriate for a statistical report about staff composition, as it implies personal choice or preference rather than demographic distribution. Aim to use more objective language such as 'accounted for', 'represented', or 'comprised'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammatical range is limited, and there are several errors that impact clarity. The most notable issue is the confusion between percentages and absolute numbers (e.g., treating '75%' as '75 women'). While the sentence structures vary slightly, the errors in word choice and the misuse of conjunctions (like 'Whereas') prevent the report from reaching a higher band. Work on ensuring that the subject of your sentence matches the data being described and practice using complex sentence structures correctly.

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