Bar Chart

Band 6+: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image displays a bar chart titled 'Academic staff percentages in faculties, by gender, 2012', showing the gender distribution across seven faculties. The percentages for Female (F) and Male (M) staff are as follows: Arts (F 55%, M 45%), Business (F 35%, M 65%), Education (F 75%, M 25%), Engineering (F 15%, M 85%), Law (F 40%, M 60%), Medicine (F 50%, M 49%), and Science (F 35%, M 65%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This bar graph illustrates the percentage of employees in academic section of Britain University in the year 2012; differentiate by gender, and data is given of many departments.

Firstly, to begin with male percentage in different sections, the highest number of staff found in engineering, while the lowest in education. In addition, science and business are on same level, and rest of all vary in lower parts. Secondly, the females topped in education and minimal in engineering; this trend is opposite to men. Futhermore, women are more than 20% in all departments except engineering.

By covering that actual data, 80% males are in engineering while females are their one fourth in that department. In education women are 70% and men are hardly 25%. In science, women are 30% and men are more than 60%, while in business men are more than 60% and women are less than 40%. In medicine, males and female are equally at 50%.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 4

while: 3

education: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., '80% males are in engineering' should be 85%). The organization is somewhat clear, but could be improved with more precise language and a clearer structure. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and using more precise language to describe the trends and comparisons. Also, ensure that all key features are addressed and that the structure is logical and easy to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the main features of the graph, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The introduction is adequate, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences to guide the reader. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, affecting the overall coherence. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit vague or could be expressed more concisely. For example, instead of 'on same level,' you could use 'similar percentages.' Expanding your range of vocabulary and using more specific terms would enhance the clarity and impact of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Sentence structure is often simple, and there are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, 'females topped' should be 'females top' or 'females are highest'. To improve, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and carefully proofread your work to identify and correct grammatical errors. Pay attention to basic grammar rules and consider using a grammar checker to help identify areas for improvement.

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