Bar Chart

Band 6+: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image displays a bar chart titled 'Academic staff percentages in faculties, by gender, 2012', showing the gender distribution across seven faculties. The percentages for Female (F) and Male (M) staff are as follows: Arts (F 55%, M 45%), Business (F 35%, M 65%), Education (F 75%, M 25%), Engineering (F 15%, M 85%), Law (F 40%, M 60%), Medicine (F 50%, M 49%), and Science (F 35%, M 65%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar graph presents the percentage of academic staff, grouped according to their gender, in various departments of University of Britain in the year 2012. Overall, education had the highest percentage of female staffs while engineering had the lowest.Male staffs on the other hand had the highest value in engineering and education had the least, and medicine had an equal proportion of male and female staffs.

As presented, female employee had a significantly high number of approximately 78% in education. This slightly reduced to a total of 58% in arts. This figure decreased the more, resulting in a lesser figure of about 46% and 40% in medicine and law respectively. Science and business recorded a slightly close digit which can both be rounded up to 38%. Moreover, engineering documented the least, with a total of 18%.

In contrast, male staff had the greatest value in engineering. About 82% of male staff served in engineering department. This was followed by science and business, which had the same proportion of about 62%. The value dropped slightly to 60% in law. The next set of subjects experienced a significant decrease in number of male workers. Similar to female staff, medicine recorded 46%, arts had 42%. Unlike in female staffs, education documented the least percentage, which is about 22%.

Word Count: 215

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

female: 5

engineering: 5

staff: 4

education: 4

about: 4

percentage: 3

staffs: 3

value: 3

least: 3

medicine: 3

slightly: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons between genders across the different faculties. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the key features. To improve, ensure that the data reported is as accurate as possible relative to the visual description, as some figures (e.g., 78% for Education or 18% for Engineering) deviate from the provided data. Additionally, work on grammatical precision, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement and the use of pluralization (e.g., 'female staff' instead of 'female staffs').

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs divided by gender. However, the progression within paragraphs could be smoother. Some transitions between sentences feel a bit abrupt. To improve, try using more sophisticated cohesive devices and varied linking words (e.g., 'In terms of...', 'Regarding...', 'Conversely...') to connect ideas more naturally rather than just listing figures.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for describing the data, but there is some repetition and imprecise usage. For example, 'staffs' is used frequently; note that 'staff' is an uncountable noun in this context. Phrases like 'recorded a slightly close digit' or 'the next set of subjects experienced a significant decrease' are somewhat awkward. Aim for more precise academic collocations, such as 'represented a significant proportion' or 'exhibited a similar trend'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in noun number (e.g., 'female employee' instead of 'female employees') and article usage. There are also some issues with subject-verb agreement and phrasing. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring consistency in singular/plural forms and refining the accuracy of complex sentence constructions.

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