Pie Chart

Band 5+: Task 1: The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: Task 1: The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays two pie charts detailing average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010 across five categories. In Japan, the spending distribution was: Other goods and services (OGS) 29%, Food 24%, Housing 21%, Transport 20%, and Health care 6%. In Malaysia, the expenditure breakdown was: Housing 34%, Food 27%, OGS 26%, Transport 10%, and Health care 3%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts compare the proportion of housing, transport, food, health care and other goods or services in five different household spending, in Japan and Malaysia by 2010.

Overall, the household expenditures were mostly used housing, transport and food. However, other sources had an average percentage in each country for one year.

In Japan, the other goods or services had 29% and which is the highest per cent in this country. Moreover, the proportion of transport, housing and food between 20 to 24% in 2010. I figure that the health care had 6 percentage in this term, there was the lowest households spending in Japan.

In Malaysia, the proportion of housing has higher percent in this period, at 34%. Furthermore, there are almost reached 26 and 27% for transport, and other goods or services. However, the percentage of health care has the least percent in 2010.

Wrapping up, the both country householder spending different ways and there are housing, other goods or services and food, which has spending more in this method in Japan and Malaysia.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

housing: 5

other: 5

transport: 4

goods: 4

services: 4

spending: 4

proportion: 3

health: 3

japan: 3

malaysia: 3

percentage: 3

country: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and identifies some key features, but there are inaccuracies and a lack of clarity in the description of the data. The organization is somewhat present, but the language contains errors that affect the overall coherence. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, using precise language, and organizing the information more effectively with clear topic sentences and transitions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the flow of ideas is not always logical. The introduction and conclusion are weak and don't effectively summarize the key trends. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often abrupt, hindering the overall coherence. Paragraphing could be improved to group related ideas more effectively. For example, the second paragraph is too general and doesn't provide specific information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and somewhat repetitive. There is a lack of precision in word choice, which affects the clarity of the report. For instance, using more specific terms related to expenditure categories would enhance the description. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there's little evidence of sophisticated language use. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to economic trends and comparative analysis. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent. These errors frequently impede understanding. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct errors in your writing.

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