Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the favourite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada, broken down by gender. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the favourite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada, broken down by gender. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents a bar graph detailing Canadian teenagers' favorite leisure activities segmented by gender, with data points as follows: Sports—Boys: 30%, Girls: 20%; Computer Games—Boys: 25%, Girls: 15%; Music—Boys: 20%, Girls: 20%; Shopping—Boys: 10%, Girls: 35%.

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The given bar chart illustrates the favored vacations of adolescents across four different fields (sports, computer games, music and shopping) in Canada divided by gender. Units are measured in percentages.

Overall, what stands out from the bar chart is that there were considerable upward trends in shopping and sports among the boys, whereas these two activities were the least popular preferred by girls. Another interesting point is that music and computer games were almost equally distributed no matter the gender.

In detail, boys shopping reached a peak almost by 35%, and at the same time having hit a low of 7% among the girls. Subsequently, sports it the second popular activity interested by boys reaching 26%, while decreasing sharply to 12% in girls leisure. In addition, computer games is the least activity preferred by boys at 17%, while girls are interested at rate of 13%. Among four activies, only music is preferred at the same level of 18% by both genders.

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 4

computer: 3

games: 3

music: 3

among: 3

preferred: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features and makes some comparisons, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with clarity. To improve, ensure data accuracy by double-checking the values on the chart. Also, focus on presenting the data more clearly and logically, and avoid awkward phrasing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The 'overall' paragraph is a good start, but the subsequent paragraph lacks clear transitions and logical sequencing of information. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the data. For example, use phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'However' to highlight comparisons and contrasts between the genders and activities. Also, avoid abrupt shifts in focus between different data points.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat basic and repetitive. There's an over-reliance on words like 'activity,' 'interested,' and 'preferred.' To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise vocabulary to describe the data. For instance, instead of 'reached a peak,' consider using 'accounted for the largest proportion' or 'was the most favored.' Also, the phrase 'upward trends' is not quite appropriate for describing static data in a bar chart; consider alternatives like 'higher preference' or 'greater popularity.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include incorrect verb tenses ('boys shopping reached a peak'), subject-verb agreement issues ('sports it the second popular activity'), and awkward phrasing ('girls are interested at rate of 13%'). To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the report for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Pay attention to the correct use of prepositions and articles. Vary sentence structure to enhance grammatical range and avoid monotony.

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