Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the favourite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada, broken down by gender. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the favourite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada, broken down by gender. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents a bar graph detailing Canadian teenagers' favorite leisure activities segmented by gender, with data points as follows: Sports—Boys: 30%, Girls: 20%; Computer Games—Boys: 25%, Girls: 15%; Music—Boys: 20%, Girls: 20%; Shopping—Boys: 10%, Girls: 35%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart presented shows a Canadian student’s overall leisure activity trend seperated accordingly by gender.

We could be informed that, in general, boys in Canada had higher leisure activity interests than girls. The trend also illustrates that Canadian girls tends to be more active in leisure activity related to music and computer games than others.

As we observe throughly, we could notice 2 main trends that boys are much more attracted than girls. Which was Sports and Shopping, while 25% of the boys enjoyed playing sports, only 10% of the girls do. Same trend applies toward shopping, the significantly high desire of boys to go shopping is monstrously bigger than girls, as it is 35% compared to only 5% of girls that are satisfied with shopping.

We could also depict 2 more trends that grows equally, which was computer games and music. As there are only 5% difference in computer games and no difference on music.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 6

leisure: 3

activity: 3

trend: 3

could: 3

music: 3

computer: 3

games: 3

shopping: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but includes some inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The organization is not very clear, and the language contains errors. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically, and using precise language. Proofread carefully to correct grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear overall structure and the flow of information is not always easy to follow. The introduction is weak and doesn't effectively set the context. The body paragraphs contain some relevant information, but the connections between sentences and ideas are not always clear. Transitions between paragraphs are also weak or missing. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall flow of the report. For example, use transition words and phrases to signal relationships between ideas (e.g., 'in contrast,' 'similarly,' 'however').

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and there are instances of imprecise word choice ('monstrously bigger'). There is an attempt to use some descriptive language, but it is not always accurate or effective. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to describing trends and comparisons. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms for common words and phrases, and pay attention to the specific nuances of different words to ensure you are using them correctly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is also sometimes awkward or unclear. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay close attention to verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, and proofread your work carefully for errors.

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