Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows the favourite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada, broken down by gender. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the favourite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada, broken down by gender. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents a bar graph detailing Canadian teenagers' favorite leisure activities segmented by gender, with data points as follows: Sports—Boys: 30%, Girls: 20%; Computer Games—Boys: 25%, Girls: 15%; Music—Boys: 20%, Girls: 20%; Shopping—Boys: 10%, Girls: 35%.

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The bar chart gives information about the favorite pastime activities of youngsters in Canada.

Overall, Shopping is the most preferred type of amusement among the boys as opposed to girls. Meanwhile, female teens engage themselves more in listening to music.

As for the details, the maximum number of young males (35%) spend their time with shopping however, girls are not as active in doing this as boys, constituting nearly 10%. Whereas music is listened equally by roughly 20% of both genders as the favorite leisure activity. Moreover, teenage boys accounts for over 20 per cent with regard to playing computer games and girls merely lower than 20 in this.

Finally, around 30% of young men do sports, showing a higher rate again in comparison with teenage girls. Also, the share at which young women do sports is not as high as males, only 15% per cent of them consider sport as the main hobby

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 4

young: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons between genders. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., stating shopping is the most preferred activity among boys, when it's actually sports). To improve, ensure data accuracy and vary sentence structure to enhance readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to highlight key features, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The overall structure is somewhat disjointed, making it slightly difficult to follow the comparisons between genders. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, transitions could be used to signal shifts in focus or to emphasize comparisons and contrasts more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate but lacks sophistication. There is some repetition of basic terms. To enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more precise language to describe the data. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'spend their time with,' consider alternatives like 'dedicate their time to,' 'are involved in,' or 'participate in.' Also, aim for more varied phrasing to describe percentages and proportions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. Sentences like 'Shopping is the most preferred type of amusement among the boys as opposed to girls' and 'teenage boys accounts for over 20 per cent' contain errors in word choice and subject-verb agreement. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully review each sentence for correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and appropriate word usage. Pay attention to the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading is essential to catch and correct these errors.

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