Bar Chart

Band 7+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of mobile phone usage for different purposes in the UK in 2009 and 2019.

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The image contains a bar chart showing the percentage of mobile phone usage for different purposes in the UK in 2009 and 2019. The percentages for 2009 and 2019 respectively were: Reading news, 35% and 58%; Gaming, 28% and 67%; Shopping, 23% and 75%; and Social media, 33% and 82%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar diagram depicts the data on the proportion of mobile phone usage for reading news, gaming, shopping, and social media in the UK in 2009 and 2019.

Overall, the percentages of mobile phone usage have increased for every category compared to the previous year. Although people were using their smartphones for mostly reading news in the first year, in the next given year social media became the most popular purpose of phone usage.

In detail, the rate of phone usage for reading news accounted for slightly less than 40% in 2009 in the UK. The third most popular purpose for using phones was gaming with around 25%. People used their phones least of the time for shopping in 2009 which made up just over 20%. People used their phones for social media as much as they used them for reading news which constituted approximately 23%.

Furthermore, phone usage for reading news increased and stood at just below 60% in 2019. The proportion for gaming category increased as well, consisting about 65% of total phone usage. Shopping was the second most popular purpose for using a phone in this year, and the percentage was equal to slightly below 80%. The most popular purpose for phone usage in 2019 was social media, accounting for just over 80%.

Word Count: 216

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 8

usage: 6

reading: 5

social: 4

media: 4

popular: 4

purpose: 4

gaming: 3

shopping: 3

increased: 3

people: 3

using: 3

their: 3

phones: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the key trends and provides relevant details from the bar chart. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. To further enhance the response, consider including more comparative language to highlight the magnitude of changes between 2009 and 2019. Also, ensure that all data points are completely accurate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The information is presented in a logical order, with a clear overview followed by detailed descriptions. However, transitions between some sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow. For example, consider adding transition words or phrases to connect ideas more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using appropriate terms to describe the data. However, there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'phone usage,' consider alternatives like 'mobile activity,' 'smartphone applications,' or 'digital engagement' to add nuance and sophistication to the writing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. While the sentences are generally well-constructed, there are a few instances where clarity could be improved through more careful attention to sentence structure and word choice. Reviewing the report for subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage can further enhance its grammatical accuracy.

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