Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.

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The image shows a bar chart comparing the percentage of students passing high school competency exams by subject and gender for the year 2010-2011. The subjects listed are Physics, where girls had 36.7% and boys 34.6%; Chemistry with girls at 14.1% and boys at 30.2%; History with girls at 25.6% and boys at 22.9%; Geography with girls at 20.1% and boys at 30.4%; Foreign Languages, which includes French, German, and Spanish, with girls at 47.4% and boys at 46.8%; Mathematics with girls at 49.2% and boys at 48.4%; and Computer Science with girls at 42.1% and boys at 56.3%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The presented graph provides a comparison of the percentage of students who passed their competency exam by subjects such as physics, chemistry, history, geography, foreign languages, mathematics, and computer science and gender from 2010 to 2011.

Overall, as it can be seen, chemistry, computer science and geography have a significant rate difference, while physics, foreign languages, math and history have the highest exam passed rate in both genders.

The most notable differences are in chemistry, where only 14% of boys and 30.2% of boys have passed the exam successfully. The other two subjects with dramatic rates are computer science and geography. Computer science is chosen by 42.2% of boys and 56.3% of girls, respectively, with 14% of difference. Geography has 10% of difference between genders’ choices, with 30% and 40% appropriately.

The other subjects don’t have a big contrast between students’ choices. There are 3 subjects with only 1% of difference – physics, foreign languages and mathematics. History has a 2% of rate contrast with 22.9 and 25.6 percentages, which are proper.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

subjects: 4

geography: 4

computer: 4

science: 4

difference: 4

passed: 3

physics: 3

chemistry: 3

history: 3

foreign: 3

languages: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and differences in the data, providing a reasonable overview of the percentages of students passing competency exams by subject and gender. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., stating 14% of boys passed chemistry when it was 30.2%, and misreporting some other values). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider including more specific examples to support the overall trends identified.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to group subjects based on rate differences. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider structuring the report with a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph to guide the reader. For example, you could dedicate a paragraph to subjects with significant gender differences and another to those with minimal differences. Also, ensure that the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the data. However, there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'difference' or 'rate,' try synonyms like 'disparity,' 'variation,' or 'percentage point gap.' Also, consider using more specific vocabulary related to academic performance and subject preferences.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and accurate preposition usage. For example, '14% of boys and 30.2% of boys have passed the exam successfully' contains a repetition and an incorrect percentage. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors. Vary sentence structure to enhance readability.

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