Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows the percentages of pupils who passed their school leaving exams, by subject and sex, during the period 2003-04

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The image shows bar chart data for pupils passing school-leaving exams by subject and sex in 2003-04: English has boys at 49.0% and girls at 65.2%; Mathematics shows boys at 48.0% and girls at 54.0%; Any Science shows boys at 48.1% and girls at 50.9%; French shows boys at 19.1% and girls at 37.4%; Geography shows boys at 30.1% and girls at 30.4%; History shows boys at 20.5% and girls at 19.0%; German shows boys at 30.2% and girls at 32.6%; Other Languages shows boys at 39.0% and girls at 38.9%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The supplied bar chart illustrates the proportion of students who took their final exams divided to 2 categories: subject and sex, between 2003-2004.

Overall, as it can be clearly seen, significant number of girls chose english more than boys. Moreover, by that period, almost all provided subjects were more preferred by girls.

As for the most popular curriculum, it is the english language, which was chosen by 49,6% of boys and 65,7% of girls.

Second place took by mathematica and any science subject as a frequent choice, indicating similar percentages: 50,9% of girls and 48% of boys.

The subject that was most unpopular among the graduates is a geography. In addition, girls owned 18,5% and boys made up 20,6% which was the first time when boys’ selects of subject were more than girls’.

Word Count: 133

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

subject: 4

girls: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the bar chart and provides relevant data. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data cited, and the analysis could be more comprehensive by including a wider range of subjects and comparisons. To improve, ensure data accuracy and aim for a more thorough overview of all the subjects presented in the chart. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction is acceptable, but the overall summary could be more concise and impactful. The progression of ideas is not always smooth, and some sentences feel disconnected. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall flow. Paragraphing is present but could be more strategically employed to group related information effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit awkward or could be expressed more naturally. Aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to describing data and trends. For instance, instead of 'chose english more than boys,' consider using phrases like 'English was more popular among girls than boys' or 'a higher percentage of girls passed English compared to boys.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary used accurately reflects the data presented. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'significant number of girls chose english more than boys' should be revised for better grammatical accuracy. Similarly, 'Second place took by mathematica' is grammatically incorrect. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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