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Band 7+: write a report for a university lecturer describhing the information shown in the graph

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The image depicts five categories of officer grades with percentage distinctions for men and women in executive positions: Officers Grade E shows women at 70% and men at 30%; Officers Grade D has women at 60% and men at 40%; Officers Grade C indicates women at 50% and men at 50%; Officers Grade B presents women at 20% and men at 80%; Officers Grade A shows women at 10% and men at 90%.

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The graph illustrates the proportion of men and women working in executive positions with their grade level,A being the highest and E the lowest, between July 1993 and June 1994 in ACME Oil Company.

Overall, it can be said that while men’s percentages of employees excelerated as the office grade increased, women’s trend contrasted their opposite-sex coworkers. Proportions of female employees decreased as the officer grade climbed.

Male employees had the lowest percentage of workers in grade E with only 30%, while the proportion continued to rise gradually with approximately 45% in grade D, 60% in grade C, 85% in grade B and finally 90% in grade A.

Female employees on the other hand had the highest percentage in grade E with accompaning roughly 75% of workers with them. As the rank climbed upwards, females made 60% of the workers in grade D, 45% in grade C, 25% in grade B, and 10% in grade A.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

grade: 13

employees: 4

workers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview and specific details from the graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., 'approximately 45% in grade D' should be 40%, '60% in grade C' should be 50%, '85% in grade B' should be 80%, 'accompaning roughly 75% of workers' should be 70%, '45% in grade C' should be 50%, '25% in grade B' should be 20%). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider double-checking figures before finalizing the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. The progression of information is logical, moving from overall trends to specific data points. However, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow. Consider using transition words or phrases to connect ideas more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task. Terms like 'proportion,' 'accelerated,' 'contrasted,' and 'gradually' are used effectively. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and avoiding repetition of words like 'percentage' and 'grade.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. There are a few minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('men's percentages of employees excelerated') and awkward phrasing ('with accompaning roughly 75% of workers with them'). Pay closer attention to these details during proofreading to improve accuracy. Also, ensure correct spelling ('excelerated' should be 'accelerated').

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Band 7+: write a report for a university lecturer describhing the information shown in the graph

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

write a report for a university lecturer describhing the information shown in the graph

write a report for a university lecturer describhing the information shown in the graph

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The bar graph shows the average hours of daily sunshine throughout the year in two cities of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of three types of visitors to a museum between 1997 and 2012.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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