Bar Chart

Band 5+: write a report for a university lecturer describhing the information shown in the graph

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The image depicts five categories of officer grades with percentage distinctions for men and women in executive positions: Officers Grade E shows women at 70% and men at 30%; Officers Grade D has women at 60% and men at 40%; Officers Grade C indicates women at 50% and men at 50%; Officers Grade B presents women at 20% and men at 80%; Officers Grade A shows women at 10% and men at 90%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph provides information about the proportion of male and female who was employed in manager positions in ACME Oil during July 1993 and June 1994.

It is immediately noticeable that men in grade A had the highest percentage of employments, whereas women was considerable employed in grade E. In contrast , the least hired in women was grade A and for men was grade E.

In male, It can be seen that officers in grade A and B received the highest proportion, accounts for 90% and approximately 85%, followed by officers grade C, D and E in order. (60%, around 45% and 30%)

On the other hand, for female, the most employed was in officers grade E, comprises of about 75%. Noticeably, it is decreasing in order. In grade D, C and B, accounts for 60%, around 45%, around 25% and the last percentage of hiring was in officers grade A (10%).

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

grade: 9

officers: 4

employed: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the graph and provides a generally clear overview of the data. However, there are some inaccuracies in the reported data and the language could be more precise. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and using more precise language to describe the proportions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction is present, and an overview is attempted. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is not always smooth, and the connections between sentences could be clearer. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall flow. Paragraphing is acceptable but could be more effectively managed to group related information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice ('considerable employed'). Expanding your vocabulary and using more specific terms would enhance the clarity and impact of your writing. There are some attempts at using appropriate vocabulary related to proportions and employment, but more variety and precision would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Subject-verb agreement issues ('women was'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward phrasing are present throughout the text. While a variety of sentence structures are attempted, the accuracy is inconsistent. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules, including subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and correct article usage. Pay close attention to punctuation as well.

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write a report for a university lecturer describhing the information shown in the graph

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Band 5+: write a report for a university lecturer describhing the information shown in the graph

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

write a report for a university lecturer describhing the information shown in the graph

write a report for a university lecturer describhing the information shown in the graph

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