Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart gives information about the percentage of car trips made by male and female drivers

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The image shows a bar graph titled "Estimated percentage of car trips by purpose and gender of drivers, 2005," with categories: Courses (Men: 5%, Women: 3%), Visiting Town (Men: 3%, Women: 6%), Bank (Men: 4%, Women: 5%), Running Errands (Men: 7%, Women: 14%), Visiting Friends (Men: 8%, Women: 7%), Recreation (Men: 11%, Women: 9%), Work (Men: 52%, Women: 39%), Shopping (Men: 10%, Women: 17%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart illustrates the changes in the proportion of car trips by purpose(courses, visiting town, bank, running errands, visiting friends, recreation, work and shopping) and genders of drivers in 2015.

Generally speaking, it is clear that the percentage of work is significantly high whether women or men this year.

Firstly, the majority of drivers aimed to use their car for working especially for males. We can see that over 50% and almost 40% of men and lady utilise their motor vehicle to have a job. Secondly, the next largest proportion of goals for the two genders was different that were shopping and recreation for ladies and men respectively. The percentage of consumption and entertainment is between 10% and 20%.

Next, it was obvious the percentages of girls in the purpose of course, bank, running errands and visiting friends is greater than boys while the proportion of remaining objects of boys is vital than women. For example, the ratio of bank was notable to show that women were more than gentleman triplely.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 3

visiting: 3

women: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the data but lacks specific details and accurate comparisons. The description of individual categories is not always precise, and there are some inaccuracies in the data representation. To improve, focus on providing more specific data points and making accurate comparisons between categories and genders. Also, ensure that the language used is precise and avoids generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction is acceptable, but the overview is quite general and could be more specific. The body paragraphs present some data, but the connections between sentences are not always clear, affecting the overall coherence. Consider using more precise linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be refined to better group related ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice ('consumption' instead of 'shopping,' 'gentleman triplely'). Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using more accurate and specific terms would enhance the report. There are some attempts at using more complex vocabulary, but accuracy needs improvement.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. Errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage are present. For example, 'lady utilise' should be 'ladies utilise' or 'women utilise'. 'Gentleman triplely' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully. While there is an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, the frequency of errors detracts from the overall effectiveness.

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