Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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Image for topic: The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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The image depicts employment figures in thousands for five job sectors in Australia for 2001 and 2008. In 2001, sales accounted for 1,900,000; computing, 750,000; accounting, 950,000; nursing, 350,000; and farming, 200,000. By 2008, sales decreased to 1,600,000; computing rose to 1,200,000; accounting declined to 900,000; nursing doubled to 700,000; and farming remained at 200,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart compares the enrollment of individuals in five various types of jobs in singular area of Australia between year 2001 and 2008.

Overall, there was a clear disparity among works,with sales ranking first and farming recording the smallest figure in both the years. Additionally, other types of work were in moderate position.

Beginning with the higher figures, sales worj registered exactly 1,80,000 individuals in 2001 and approximately 2,00,000 people’s in 2008, significantly surpassing computing, which accounted 1,00,000 individuals in 2001 and almost 1,20,000 in 2008 . Accounting followed closely at around 1,00,000 in 2001 , slightly more than in 2008 which is 80,0000.

By comparison, farming enrolled approximately 40,000 people in 2001 and exactly 20,000 employees in 2008 , representating lowest values.

Word Count: 124

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

individuals: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with the clarity of the descriptions. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the chart and ensure that all numbers are correctly transcribed. Also, pay attention to the overall structure, ensuring a clear progression from overview to specific details. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information, but the flow is somewhat disjointed. The introduction and overall statement are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear transitions and logical connections between ideas. The organization could be improved by grouping similar trends together and using more effective transition words to guide the reader. For example, you could group the sectors that experienced growth together and those that declined. Also, the use of 'Additionally' and 'By comparison' feels somewhat formulaic and doesn't always create a smooth transition.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inaccurate word choice (e.g., 'enrollment' instead of 'employment'). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to employment trends and numerical comparisons. For example, instead of 'ranking first,' you could use 'representing the largest proportion' or 'dominating the employment sector.' Also, focus on using more precise language when describing the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'sales worj registered exactly 1,80,000 individuals' is grammatically incorrect. The accuracy of the report is compromised by these errors. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully for errors in sentence structure and verb usage. Also, pay attention to the correct use of articles and prepositions.

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Band 4+: The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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