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Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020.

Image for topic: The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020.
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The image is a bar chart representing the percentage of the Canadian workforce in five industries in 1850 and 2020. In 1850, Manufacturing had 36%, Services 9%, Agriculture/Fishing 33%, Construction 1%, and Energy/Water 5%. In 2020, Manufacturing decreased to 8%, Services increased to 81%, Agriculture/Fishing fell to 1%, Construction rose to 5%, and Energy/Water grew to 3%. The chart shows that there has been a significant shift from Manufacturing and Agriculture/Fishing towards Services over the 170-year span, with modest growth in Construction and Energy/Water industries.
Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.
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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given graph provides the numbers of Canadians in different types of industries in 1850 and 2020. Industries include manufacturing, services, agriculture/fishing, construction, and energy/water.

Overall, the percentage of workforce in 1850 were in decrease order with manufacturing industry at the highest and energy/water at the lowest. For 2020, the percentages were a bit fluctuated with highest at 81% and lowest at 1%.

By analysing the diagram, the manufacturing and services in 1850 were in similar state, standing around 34%. Not only that, but also construction and energy/water percentages were quite near in number with around 4%. The number in agriculture/fishing with only 22%.

While manufacturing in 1850 were in high number, the number were drop to 9% in 2020. The number Canadian people in construction were 8% percent, similar to manufacturing industry. Agriculture/fishing and energy/water were at the lowest with just only 1%, which is the steep drop for agriculture/fishing. Having said all that, business in services had the most Canadian people in given diagram with 81%.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
manufacturing: 5
number: 5
agriculture/fishing: 4
services: 3
construction: 3
energy/water: 3
lowest: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6
The response addresses the task for the most part, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions in the data presented. The student should focus on providing a more accurate overview of the information presented in the bar chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

5
The report is somewhat coherent and cohesive, but there are issues with paragraphing and some repetitive language use. The progression of ideas could be improved for better clarity and organization.

Lexical Resource

4
There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but there are inaccuracies and imprecise word choices throughout the report. The student should work on expanding their vocabulary and using terminology more accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5
While there is an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, there are several grammatical errors present, including subject-verb agreement and word form inaccuracies. The student should focus on improving grammatical accuracy for a higher score.

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The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020.

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