Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The image displays a bar graph comparing percentages for different ethnicities across two years: Non-Hispanic White at 12% in 2004, rising to 17% in 2014; Non-Hispanic Black at 11% in 2004, increasing to 20% in 2014; Hispanic at 13% in 2004, escalating to 27% in 2014.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given bar chart show the percentage of boys and girls who are prevalance of obesity from 12 to 19 age at the United states in one decade starting from 2004 .

Over it can be seen that ,all three types of ethnicity increased over the period shown . Farthermore , hispanic obesity is the higest among the period shown .

Looling at 2004 data set in more datail , it is clear that the parcentage of the three types of obesity is almost semilar .The amounts are 12%, 11% and 13% for non – hispanic white non -hipanic black and hispanic respactively .

On the other hand , the figure shows an increase trand in 2014 for all the stages .

Word Count: 122

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

obesity: 3

hispanic: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies the main trend of increasing obesity across all ethnicities. However, the description lacks specific data and comparisons, especially regarding the magnitude of change for each group. To improve, include more precise data points and directly compare the changes between different ethnicities and years. Also, ensure accurate spelling and grammar throughout the report. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical sequence, making it difficult to follow the main points. Improve coherence by using clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs. For example, you could dedicate separate paragraphs to describing the overall trends, the data for 2004, and the data for 2014. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'Over it can be seen that' and 'Looking at 2004 data set in more datail'. Instead, use more direct and specific language.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inappropriate word choice (e.g., 'amounts' instead of 'percentages'). Expand your vocabulary related to describing trends and data, such as 'increased significantly,' 'remained relatively stable,' or 'fluctuated slightly.' Also, ensure correct spelling and word usage throughout the report. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'The given bar chart show' should be 'The given bar chart shows,' and 'prevalance of obesity' should be 'prevalence of obesity.' Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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