Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below gives information about active video games players by country in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information about active video games players by country in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image shows "Active Video Games Players by Country in 2012 (in millions)" and lists United States 85, Brazil 41.8, Germany 37.5, United Kingdom 32.7, France 26.7, Turkey 22.7, Italy 17.8, Spain 16.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The charts shows proportions about of the number of active video games players by country in the year 2012.

Overall, US players were the bigger part, and the gap between their percentage and the other countries players percentages was very wide.

In the year 2012 the percentage of active players in US was 85 percent, and that was very high compared to the other countries. Brazil who came secend was 41.8 percent followed by Germany at 37.5 percent, UK at 32.7 percent France at 27.6 percent, Turkey at 22.7 percent, Italy 17.8 percent, and finally Spain at 16 percent.

Word Count: 99

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 8

players: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main features of the data, presenting the key figures and making relevant comparisons. However, the introduction could be more precise, and the language could be refined for greater clarity and conciseness. For example, avoid using "percentage" when the chart refers to millions of players. Also, ensure consistent accuracy in the data reported (e.g., the figure for France is slightly off). To improve, focus on using more precise language and ensuring all data points are accurately represented. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally understandable manner, but the organization could be improved. The introduction is a bit weak and doesn't clearly set the stage. The body of the report lists the data but lacks a strong narrative flow. Consider grouping countries or highlighting key differences to improve coherence. For example, you could group countries with similar player numbers or discuss the top three countries in one paragraph and the rest in another. Also, ensure that transitions between sentences are smooth and logical.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more varied and precise. Phrases like 'bigger part' and 'very wide' are simplistic. Try to use more sophisticated language to describe the data, such as 'the United States had the largest proportion of active video game players' or 'a significant disparity existed between the US and other countries.' Expanding your vocabulary will enhance the clarity and impact of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including issues with articles ('The charts shows' should be 'The chart shows'), prepositions ('proportions about of' should be 'proportions of'), and sentence structure. There are also some spelling errors ('secend' should be 'second'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focus on proofreading carefully and reviewing basic grammar rules to improve accuracy. Vary your sentence structure to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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