Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below gives information about the journeys to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in 2013.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information about the journeys to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in 2013.

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The image illustrates the percentage of children aged 11 to 16 traveling to school in the UK by different modes and distances: walking shows 0-1 mile at 80%, 1-2 miles at 60%, 2-5 miles at 20%; bicycling shows 0-1 mile at 1%, 1-2 miles at 2%, 2-5 miles at 3%; car travel shows 0-1 mile at 11%, 1-2 miles at 20%, 2-5 miles at 30%, over 5 miles at 10%; bus travel shows 2-5 miles at 38%, over 5 miles at 55%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates percentage of children aged 11 to 16 travellingto school by four ways- walk, bicycles, car, and bus in varies modes in the UK in 2013.

It’s remakable that the proportion of bicycle in various modes was lowest than the other vehicles in 2013. The number of children who chose walking to school was the highest from 0-2 miles to school. Also the proportion of the bus was the highest among other vehicles from over 5 miles to school.

The number of walking was the highest that children prefered to choose it by 0-1mile from home to school, at around 85%. But no one chose bus to school by this modes. By contrast, around 75% children who lived over 5 miles to school by bus to school, and only 1% children chose walking. The number of children who was over 5 miles to school was nearly twice than that of 2-5miles to school by bus

The proportion of bicycle was consistently lower than 10% , which means children would chose bicycle to school whatever the modes. The number of the car in 2-5 miles road from school to home was higher than others .

Word Count: 196

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 11

children: 7

miles: 5

modes: 4

number: 4

chose: 4

proportion: 3

bicycle: 3

walking: 3

highest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the chart and makes relevant comparisons. There are some minor inaccuracies and a few areas where more specific data could have been included to strengthen the analysis. To improve, focus on providing more precise data points and ensuring all key trends are supported with specific figures from the chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a reasonable overview of the data, but the organization could be improved. Consider grouping information more logically, perhaps by mode of transport or distance. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of the report. For example, linking the discussion of walking distances to the discussion of bus distances with a clear transition would improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'number' or 'proportion,' try incorporating synonyms like 'percentage,' 'figure,' or 'rate.' Also, consider using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to add detail and nuance to your descriptions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can help improve accuracy. For example, pay attention to the correct usage of 'than' versus 'then,' and ensure that verb tenses are consistent throughout the report.

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