Bar Chart

Band 8+: The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows attendances per 1000 population by age group for December 2016 and December 2017; Under 5 had approximately 67 in 2016 and 60 in 2017; Aged 5-15 had about 27 in 2016 and 28 in 2017; Aged 16-44 had around 30 in 2016 and 32 in 2017; Aged 45-64 had close to 36 in both years; Aged 65-74 had around 42 in 2016 and 44 in 2017; Aged 75 & Over had approximately 63 in 2016 and 68 in 2017.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the number of patients categorized by age attending emergency departments in Northern Ireland in two separate years: December 2016 and December 2017.

Overall, it is clear that people aged 75 or older and children aged under 5 had a high frequency of visits to emergency departments. In addition, the attendance rates of December 2017 were always higher than that of December 2016.

To begin with, elderly people in the 75 and over age group accounted for the highest attendances at over 60 in December 2016 and around 70 in December 2017. Also, the figure for those aged under 5 increased slightly by about three attendances over the period.

Looking at remaining categories, the 16-44 age group had around 30 attendances in both years, despite a negligible higher level of December 2017. Attendances of people aged 45-64 and aged 65-74 saw a similar pattern, rising from 28 in 2016 to around 30 in 2017. Finally, the number of people aged 5-15 visits to departments was the lowest, making up only over 20 over the one-year period.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

december: 7

people: 4

attendances: 4

departments: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a clear overview and highlights the main trends, such as the high attendance rates for the youngest and oldest age groups. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., the under 5 group is said to have increased, but the data shows a decrease; the 45-64 and 65-74 groups are described as rising from 28, which is not accurate). Additionally, the statement that December 2017 rates were always higher is not entirely correct, as the under 5 group decreased. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurately reported and that the overall trend is described correctly. Also, avoid making absolute statements that are contradicted by the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized with a clear overall structure: introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, and the progression of ideas is logical. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the phrase 'despite a negligible higher level of December 2017' which could be more smoothly integrated. Additionally, the final sentence could be more clearly linked to the preceding ones. Overall, the message is easy to follow, and paragraphing is managed well.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, with words like 'illustrates', 'categorized', 'accounted for', and 'negligible'. There is some flexibility in expression, and the language is generally accurate. However, there are a few awkward phrasings, such as 'the attendance rates of December 2017 were always higher than that of December 2016' (which could be more concise) and 'people aged 5-15 visits to departments' (which is slightly unnatural). The vocabulary is not always as sophisticated or precise as it could be, but it is adequate for a high band score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, and demonstrates good control of grammar. There are only minor errors, such as 'higher than that of December 2016' (where 'that' should be 'those' to agree with 'rates') and 'people aged 5-15 visits' (which should be 'people aged 5-15's visits' or 'the number of visits by people aged 5-15'). Punctuation is generally correct. The overall accuracy is high, and the errors do not impede understanding.

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Band 8+: The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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