Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below shows the average earnings of people in various areas of work in one country in 2000 and 2010. The table shows the average salary for all sectors in the same years. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisions where appropriate.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the average earnings of people in various areas of work in one country in 2000 and 2010. The table shows the average salary for all sectors in the same years. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisions where appropriate.

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The image displays a bar graph and a table comparing average annual salaries across different sectors in 2000 and 2010; Administration sector saw salaries of approximately 35,000 in 2000 and about 40,000 in 2010; Financial Services reported approximately 90,000 in 2000 and surged to around 135,000 in 2010; Telecommunications reflected approximately 40,000 in 2000 and roughly 60,000 in 2010; Tourism was around 20,000 in 2000 and about 25,000 in 2010; Transport recorded almost 35,000 in 2000 and 45,000 in 2010; Retail/Shops sector had salaries of around 25,000 in both years; the table shows average salaries for all sectors combined at 44,000 in 2000 and increasing to 50,000 in 2010.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates the average payout for different full-time employees in different sectors for a full year in 2000 and 2010. Overall, the bar chart shows the highest salary secor is Financial Services in both years comparing to the tourism as lower sector for both years.

In 2000, Full time employees in financial services received approximately $110,000 as average annual salary. Meanwhile, torusim sector employees receive about $20,000.

However, in 2010 the financial services sector average salary raise to $130,000. On the other hand, the tourism empoyees annual salary decreased to around $18,000.

Moreover, in 2000 and 2010 the other sector such as Retail shops, transport and administration remains stable between $39,000 to $60,000.

Word Count: 114

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

salary: 4

sector: 4

average: 3

employees: 3

financial: 3

services: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and omissions. The overview is present, but the details in the body paragraphs contain some incorrect data. For example, the report states that in 2000, financial services received approximately $110,000, but the visual description states $90,000. Also, the report states that in 2010, the tourism employees' annual salary decreased to around $18,000, but the visual description states $25,000. To improve, ensure that the data cited is accurate and completely aligned with the visual description. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a basic overview of the data, but the organization could be improved. The flow of information is somewhat disjointed, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs are not always clear. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall structure. For example, transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through the information more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are some instances of imprecise word choice. While the vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, expanding your lexical repertoire would enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing. Try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary related to economic trends and employment sectors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. These errors detract from the clarity and accuracy of the writing. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules. Proofreading carefully and seeking feedback from others can also help identify and correct errors.

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