Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the different levels of post schooling qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the different levels of post schooling qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

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The image shows a chart detailing post-school qualifications in Australia according to gender in 1999. For skilled vocational diplomas, approximately 35% are females, and 65% are males. For undergraduate diplomas, about 45% are females and 55% are males. Bachelor's degree holders are roughly 50% female and 50% male. For postgraduate diplomas, around 60% are female and 40% male. Finally, master’s degree holders are approximately 40% female and 60% male.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The provided bar chart depicts the distribution of various specified levels of post schooling qualifications in Australia amidst male and female population in 1999.

Overall, it can be observed that male population dominated females in three major levels of qualifications with huge margins; whereas women only surpassed them in two fields with slight differences.

To begin with, percentage rates for men in Skilled Vocational Diploma was highest at 90%; while women had the least in the same category at just 10%. This also accumulated for the most significant difference(80%) in both genders compare to others. Moreover, men also surpassed women in Post Graduate and Master’s Degree by 40% and 20% respectively. However, for Undergraduate diploma and Bachelor’s degree, female population had the large shares with 70% for the former category and approximately 53% for latter one, leaving only around 35% and 45% for males respectively.

Word Count: 145

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Overall Band Score

5.5

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

population: 3

women: 3

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Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains some inaccuracies and exaggerations in the data, which detract from the task achievement. For example, the report states that men had 90% in Skilled Vocational Diploma, which is not accurate according to the visual description. Also, the report mentions that women surpassed men in two fields with slight differences, but then gives inaccurate data. To improve, ensure that the data cited is accurate and reflects the information presented in the chart. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information, but the flow is somewhat disrupted by inaccuracies and unclear connections between sentences. Paragraphing is present but could be more effective in grouping related ideas. Consider using more precise language to link ideas and ensure a smoother transition between points.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, using 'dominated' and 'surpassed' is appropriate, but the description of the differences as 'huge margins' and 'slight differences' could be more specific with actual data. Aim for more accurate and varied vocabulary to enhance the description.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For instance, the sentence structures are sometimes awkward, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Focus on improving sentence structure and ensuring grammatical accuracy to enhance the overall quality of the report.

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