Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The image presents a bar chart titled 'The number of immigrants to Germany in 2000 and 2010', with the vertical axis representing millions. Immigrant numbers for 2000 were: Oceania 16 million, Europe 30 million, Africa 6 million, America 23 million, East Asia 15 million, and South Asia 5.5 million. For 2010, the numbers were: Oceania 23 million, Europe 25 million, Africa 7.5 million, America 13 million, East Asia 24 million, and South Asia 5 million.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of immigrants to Germany in 2000 and 2010.

Overall, it is evident that Europe showed the highest number of immigrants in both years. South Asia and Africa depicted the least population moved to Germany. Oceania and East Asia demonstrated almost an equal number of public migrated to Germany in 2000 and 2010.

In 2000, a significant proportion of people (30 million) moved to Germany in Europe and in 2010, this figure decreased to 25 million. In 2000, East Asia showed the second highest number ( about 24 million) of public migrated to Germany but in 2010, only 15 million people moved to Germany.

In 2000 and 2010, a small proportion of people, around 5 million migrated to Germnay from South Asia. America also ranked as second highest in 2000 as approximately 24 million immigrants moved to Germany whilst, in 2010 this figure was declined to about 13 million people.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

germany: 6

million: 5

moved: 4

people: 4

proportion: 3

immigrants: 3

highest: 3

number: 3

migrated: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main requirements of the task and identifies key trends, such as the dominance of European immigrants and the low numbers from South Asia. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting that affect the clarity of the comparisons. For instance, the report misattributes the figures for East Asia and America between the two years, which contradicts the provided data. Additionally, the report uses the term 'proportion' when the chart actually measures absolute numbers (millions), which is a conceptual error. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately matched to their respective years and regions, and use 'number' or 'quantity' instead of 'proportion' when referring to millions of people.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat repetitive, and the transitions between sentences could be smoother. To improve, try using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Regarding...') to link your observations rather than starting many sentences with the year or the region name.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, but there are several instances of incorrect word choices that affect clarity. For example, using 'proportion' instead of 'number' is a significant error because the chart shows absolute values (millions), not percentages. Additionally, terms like 'the least population moved' or 'number of public migrated' are unnatural. Instead, use phrases like 'the lowest number of immigrants,' 'the smallest group of people,' or 'migrants from [region].' Focus on using precise nouns and verbs related to movement and statistics.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but grammatical errors are frequent. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'this figure was declined' should be 'this figure declined'). There are also errors in how relative clauses are used (e.g., 'number of public migrated' should be 'number of people who migrated'). To improve, practice using relative clauses correctly and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent when describing past data.

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Band 5+: The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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