Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism-related industry in one UK city between 1989 and 2009

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism-related industry in one UK city between 1989 and 2009

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The image is a bar graph displaying data for four categories over five years; 1989, 1994, 1999, 2004, and 2009. Restaurants: 1989 (600), 1994 (800), 1999 (1000), 2004 (1200), 2009 (1400). Hotels: 1989 (400), 1994 (600), 1999 (800), 2004 (1000), 2009 (1200). Sport and leisure: 1989 (800), 1994 (1000), 1999 (1400), 2004 (1600), 2009 (1400). Travel and tour: 1989 (200), 1994 (400), 1999 (600), 2004 (800), 2009 (1000).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates the number of occupations in tourism-related industries in one UK city over the span of 20 years, commencing from 1989.

Overall, there was an upward trend in the number of restaurants or hotels jobs in tourism-related industries, while sport and leisure, travel and tourism showed downward trends. Another outstanding feature is that restaurants and hotels are the most common jobs in three types of tourism-related industries.

Regarding restaurants and hotels, the number of these industries accelerated from about 1100 jobs in 1989 to 1600 jobs in 2004. Then, the figure remained relatively stable at around 1600 jobs until the end of the period.

Turning to travel and tourism, sport and leisure industries, the former rose slightly from about 790 jobs in 1989 to about 810 jobs in 1994 before decreasing dramatically to 400 jobs in 2009. The latter fluctuated around 800 jobs between 1989 and 2004, then fell marginally to approximately 700 jobs at the end of the period.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

industries: 4

number: 3

tourism-related: 3

restaurants: 3

hotels: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, presenting the main trends and making some comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, and the description of trends could be more precise. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide more specific details about the changes over time.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate level of coherence and cohesion. The information is generally presented in a logical order, with an overall summary followed by details for each category. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the paragraphing could be improved to better group related information. For instance, combining the discussion of 'restaurants and hotels' into a single paragraph would enhance coherence. Also, avoid referring to the categories as 'jobs'. Instead, use 'number of jobs in restaurants' etc.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the trends and data. However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise and varied. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'number of jobs,' consider alternatives like 'employment figures' or 'workforce size.' Also, the phrase 'outstanding feature' is a bit vague; try to be more specific about what makes the feature outstanding.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. For example, in the second paragraph, the sentence structure is a bit awkward. Also, the report contains some inaccuracies in the data. Ensure that the data is accurate and that the grammar is correct.

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