Bar Chart

Band 5+: THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS FROM 4 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, APPLYING TO A EUROPEAN UNIVERSITY

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The image shows the number of students from China, Japan, America, and Russia applying to a European university in 2004 (China ~29000, Japan ~20000, America ~12000, Russia ~4000), 2005 (China ~29000, Japan ~23000, America ~12000, Russia ~3500), 2006 (China ~27000, Japan ~22000, America ~12000, Russia ~8000), 2007 (China ~25000, Japan ~21000, America ~10000, Russia ~15000), and 2008 (China ~31000, Japan ~26000, America ~20000, Russia ~7000).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates how many students applying to a european university from four different countries between 2004 and 2008.

Overall, it can be seen that Russia was the lowest number of students applying to a european university among four countries over the period. Meantime, China was the highest number in the years 2004 and 2005 whereas America reached the peak in 2007 and 2008. In addition, China and America were the same number represented 25000 in 2006.

In terms of China and Japan, the number of students who apply to a european university from China decreased slightly in 2005 , compared with Japan remained stable. After that, China remained unchanged in 2006 whereas Japan increased slowly. Meanwhile, China declined dramatically from 20000 to approximately 15000 between 2007 and 20008.

Regarding America and Russia, America rose significantly over the period from 20000 to 30000. By contrast russia grew slightly and stood at roughly 8000 in 2008.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

china: 6

number: 4

america: 4

students: 3

european: 3

university: 3

russia: 3

japan: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and provides an overview, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency. Many of the figures cited in the body paragraphs do not align with the provided visual description (for example, stating China declined from 20,000 to 15,000, or America rising to 30,000). Additionally, some comparisons are contradictory, such as stating America reached its peak in 2007/2008 while also stating it rose from 20,000 to 30,000. To improve, ensure that every data point mentioned is strictly verified against the chart and that the trends described (increase/decrease) accurately reflect the numbers provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing and incorrect transitions. For example, the use of 'Meantime' and 'In addition' in the overview is not entirely natural in this context. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices that show relationship (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Similarly', 'Following this') rather than just listing facts. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that flows smoothly into the next.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There are several instances where word choice is inaccurate, such as saying 'Russia was the lowest number' (a country cannot be a number) or 'China and America were the same number represented 25000'. To reach a higher band, aim for more precise academic vocabulary. Instead of 'the same number', use 'reached an identical level'. Instead of 'rose significantly', consider 'experienced a substantial increase'. Also, ensure proper capitalization of proper nouns like 'European' and 'Russia'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency (switching between present and past), and sentence structure (e.g., 'compared with Japan remained stable' is ungrammatical). There are also several typos, such as '20008'. To improve, practice complex sentence structures like relative clauses (e.g., 'The number of students from China, which peaked in 2008, was...') and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent with the time period being described (the past tense should be used for historical data).

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