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Band 7+: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image displays a line graph showing percentages for four categories over several years. For the 'Total' category, the percentages are: 1976-29%, 1981-25%, 1986-23%, 1991-23%, 1996-26%, 2001-29.5%, 2006-31.5%, and 2011-32.5%. For the 'UK' category, the percentages are: 1976-14%, 1981-11%, 1986-9.5%, 1991-8.5%, 1996-7%, 2001-6%, 2006-5.5%, and 2011-5%. For the 'Other' category, the percentages are: 1976-10.5%, 1981-9%, 1986-7.5%, 1991-8%, 1996-9.5%, 2001-11%, 2006-13.5%, and 2011-13%. For the 'Asia' category, the percentages are: 1976-2.5%, 1981-4%, 1986-5%, 1991-6%, 1996-7.5%, 2001-9.5%, 2006-12%, and 2011-14.5%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates the proportion of Australian people born overseas in different regions between 1976 and 2011.

Overall, the percentage of the total increased gradually despite some downward trends. While the percentage of Asia and Other had almost reached the same peaks, in contrast to the UK the figure declined slowly over the whole period of time. The highest rate among the four places was the total, which was one of the leading ones throughout the period.

At the beginning of the period, the percentage of people who lived in Total was around 28% in 1976, then declined significantly to around 23% in 1986. However, the rate instantly showed an increase to around 35% in 2011. While the UK experienced a rapid fall in 1976 with around 14%, and the rate witnessed the lowest proportion, with only 5% at the end of the period.

The proportions of individuals who were born in residential areas of Asia rose gradually over the 8-year period, increasing from approximately 3% to 15% during the period. While the number of people in total fell to around 7% in 1986, then fluctuated in the following year, and the rate climbed sharply from 1996 to 2011.

Word Count: 199

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

around: 5

total: 4

period: 4

people: 3

percentage: 3

while: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main trends and features of the graph, providing a general overview and some specific data points. However, there are some inaccuracies and a lack of precision in the data reported. To improve, focus on providing more accurate data and ensuring that all key trends are addressed. Also, pay attention to the overall structure and flow of the report to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. The information is generally presented in a logical order. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, in the second paragraph, the shift from 'total' to 'UK' could be more clearly linked. In the third paragraph, the connection between the discussion of 'Asia' and the subsequent mention of 'total' feels somewhat disjointed. Consider using more cohesive devices to guide the reader through the comparisons and trends.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends and proportions. Terms like 'declined,' 'increased,' 'fluctuated,' and 'gradually' are used appropriately. However, there's room to enhance the sophistication of the language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' consider synonyms like 'proportion,' 'share,' or 'representation.' Also, explore more precise adjectives and adverbs to describe the changes, such as 'a significant drop' or 'a steady increase.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report generally demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are a few instances where grammatical accuracy could be improved. For example, in the second paragraph, 'the rate instantly showed an increase to around 35% in 2011' contains an awkward phrasing. It should be 'the rate increased to around 32.5% in 2011'. Also, in the last paragraph, 'While the number of people in total fell to around 7% in 1986' is inaccurate based on the provided data. Proofreading carefully for accuracy and clarity is essential.

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