Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows various transport tourists used within New Zealand in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows various transport tourists used within New Zealand in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows data on transport use in New Zealand in 2004 by nationality: British took air 55, coach 30, car 35, ferry 5; Germans took air 30, coach 25, car 45, ferry 10; Japanese took air 60, coach 10, car 40, ferry 5; Koreans took air 45, coach 5, car 30, ferry 5; Australians took air 40, coach 10, car 55, and ferry 10.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given graph depicts the types of transport used by travelers who visited New Zealand from five nations in 2004.

Overall, it is clear that a significant percentage of tourists from all nationalities visited New Zealand by coach and air transport. However, very few people preffered traveling New Zealand by ferry.

Looking at the data more closely, it can be seen that approximately 58% of British people visited New Zealand by coach, which was much more than the visitors who traveled by air transport, at just over 40%. In addition, the figure for British people who used a car and ferry to visit New Zealand was less than 30%.

By comparison, the most popular type of transport for Japanese tourists was air transport, accounting for roughly 52%, which was a bit more than the people who traveled by coach ( just under 50%). Meanwhile, around 55% of German visitors preferred using coach to go to New Zealand. Furthermore, 20% of them traveled by coach, which was as the same as British people.

While all three types of transport, such as air transport, coach, a car were also popular among Korean tourists, nearly 5% of them used ferry to visit New Zealand, showing a big contrast. For Australian tourists, using a car to travel New Zealand was the most popular option like others, accounting for 50%.

Word Count: 225

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

zealand: 8

transport: 7

coach: 6

tourists: 4

people: 4

visited: 3

british: 3

which: 3

traveled: 3

popular: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity in the data presented. The organization is present but could be improved. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, providing clear comparisons, and ensuring the overall structure is logical and easy to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate organization, but the flow could be improved. The 'Overall' paragraph is acceptable, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear transitions between nationalities and modes of transport. Try to group information more logically, perhaps by mode of transport or by comparing and contrasting specific nationalities. For example, discuss air travel across all nationalities before moving to coach travel. Also, the final paragraph feels somewhat disjointed and could be better integrated with the preceding information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate but lacks sophistication. There's some repetition of phrases like 'traveled by' and 'visited New Zealand.' Incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise language to describe the data. For instance, instead of 'a bit more than,' use more specific quantifiers like 'slightly higher than' or 'marginally exceeded.' Also, avoid informal language like 'just over' and 'roughly'; opt for more formal alternatives.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, '58% of British people visited New Zealand by coach' is inaccurate according to the provided data, and the phrasing is awkward. The sentence 'Meanwhile, around 55% of German visitors preferred using coach to go to New Zealand' contains an error; it should refer to car travel, not coach. Also, the sentence 'Furthermore, 20% of them traveled by coach, which was as the same as British people' is grammatically incorrect and factually inaccurate. Focus on improving accuracy in data representation and sentence construction.

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