Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows where migrants to Australia came from by region, in 1987 and 1997.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows where migrants to Australia came from by region, in 1987 and 1997.

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The image displays a bar chart comparing data for six regions between 1987 and 1997: Oceania shows 15 in 1987 and 30 in 1997; Europe shows 25 in 1987 and 35 in 1997; Middle East Africa shows 10 in 1987 and 15 in 1997; North East Asia shows 15 in 1987 and 20 in 1997; Rest of Asia shows 20 in 1987 and 15 in 1997; North/South American shows 5 in 1987 and 10 in 1997.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of migrants to Australia in several countries (Oceania, Europe, Middle East Africa, North East Asia, Rest of Asia, North/South American) in 1987 and 1997.

It is clear that the number of migrants from Europe was the biggest percentage throughout the years and migrants from North/South American was the lowest percentage at the same years. Overall, the proportion of migrants have an upward trend and fell trends is same proportion.

In the three first countries( Oceania, Europe, Middle East Africa) Oceania’s migrants started at 18% in 1987 and increased slightly to 23% in 1997. Migrants from Europe to Australia began at 33% in 1987 and decreased slightly to 28% in 1997. The percentage of Migrants came from Middle East Africa was 15% in 1987 and then increased slightly to 20% in 1997.

In the three second countries( North East Asia, Rest of Asia, North/South American) migrants from North East Asia started at 15% in 1987 and followed by sharp rise to 29% in 1997. Rest of Asia began at 23% in 1987 and declined sharply to 13% in 1997, while the percentage of migrants came from North/South American started at 7% in 1987 and dropped gradually to 5% in 1997.

Word Count: 205

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

migrants: 9

percentage: 5

europe: 4

north/south: 4

middle: 3

north: 3

started: 3

slightly: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data presented. The overall trends are identified, but the specific figures cited are not always correct, and there are instances of misinterpretation. To improve, ensure that the data cited is accurate and consistent with the visual information provided. Also, pay attention to the correct use of prepositions and articles for better clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow is disrupted by some awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. The introduction and overview provide a general sense of the data, but the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. For example, 'the three first countries' and 'the three second countries' are not natural expressions. To improve, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary to describe trends and comparisons. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to enhance the naturalness of your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a number of grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors affect the clarity and accuracy of the writing. For example, 'migrants from Europe to Australia began at 33% in 1987 and decreased slightly to 28% in 1997' contains inaccuracies. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules, and proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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