Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows where migrants to Australia came from by region, in 1987 and 1997.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows where migrants to Australia came from by region, in 1987 and 1997.

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The image displays a bar chart comparing data for six regions between 1987 and 1997: Oceania shows 15 in 1987 and 30 in 1997; Europe shows 25 in 1987 and 35 in 1997; Middle East Africa shows 10 in 1987 and 15 in 1997; North East Asia shows 15 in 1987 and 20 in 1997; Rest of Asia shows 20 in 1987 and 15 in 1997; North/South American shows 5 in 1987 and 10 in 1997.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates the distribution of migrants to Australia based on their original regions in 2 years 1987 and 1997.

Overall, the proportion of Europe migrants dominated in 2 years. Noticeably the data indicates a strong growth in Northeast Asia migrants in Australia, while a significant decrease were observed in Europe and the rest of Asia.

In 1987, the Europe migrants took the majority in Australia compared to other countries ,accounting for approximately 33%. This was followed by the rest of Asia and Oceania at around 24% and 17%, respectively. The Middle East Africa and Northeast Asia migrants both displayed the same pattern, consisting exactly 15%. The smallest proportion was seen in Northeast South America, at relatively 6%.

By the next 10 years, there was a notable change in patterns. Despite remaining the most significant, the figure for Europe migrants witnessed a decrease to 27%. In addition the percentage from the rest Asia fell to 13%, marking the most dramatic decline. Conversely, the data of migrants from the Northeast Asia increased substantially to nearly 25%, making it the second highest. Finally, North South America remained the smallest contributor, with only 5%.

Word Count: 191

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

migrants: 7

europe: 4

northeast: 4

australia: 3

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key features of the bar chart, providing a generally clear overview of the changes in migrant distribution to Australia between 1987 and 1997. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data representation and a few areas where more specific details could enhance the description. To improve, ensure precise data referencing and consider including comparative language to highlight the magnitude of changes between regions and years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The 'Overall' paragraph is somewhat vague and could more directly highlight the key trends. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but could be more sophisticated to enhance the connection between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using more varied transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While words like 'dominated,' 'significant,' and 'dramatic' are used, incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more specific descriptors would enhance the report. For instance, instead of 'strong growth,' you could use 'substantial increase' or 'marked expansion.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary accurately reflects the data; for example, verify if the changes are truly 'dramatic' or just notable.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. For example, 'a significant decrease were observed' should be 'a significant decrease was observed.' Proofread carefully to eliminate these errors. Varying sentence structure could also improve the flow and readability of the report.

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