Pie Chart

Band 4+: The chart show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in northern lreland

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The image shows pie charts depicting the distribution of money spent on music in Northern Ireland for the years 2005, 2008, and 2011. In 2005: CDs 61%, Concerts 31%, Digital downloads 6%, Other sources 2%. In 2008: CDs 43%, Concerts 23%, Digital downloads 32%, Other sources 2%. In 2011: CDs 26%, Concerts 28%, Digital downloads 43%, Other sources 3%.

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The pie chart illustrates, the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in Northern Ireland. And this chart comparison spending on music between 2005, 2008 and 2011.

Overall, this pie chart have compared spending money on music, such as CDs, concerts, digital downloads, other sources. Afterwards this pie chart comparing percentages of distribution of moneyspent on music.

If we look at 2005, most highest result on CDs and accouted for 61%, next the most lowest on other sources after reached 2%. Digital downloads was after the lowest result and totalled 6%. And concerts was after the most highest result and accounted for 31%.

If we look at 2008 and 2011, the most hieghest result on digital downloads and reached 43% in 2011. The most lowest result on other sources and totaled 2% in 2008. Next CDs was after the most high result and accounted for 41% in 2008. Eventually, concerts reached 23% in 2008, after 28% in 2011.

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

result: 6

after: 5

chart: 4

music: 3

concerts: 3

digital: 3

downloads: 3

other: 3

sources: 3

lowest: 3

reached: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the main features of the pie charts, but it suffers from several issues that affect its clarity and coherence. The organization is weak, with a lack of clear structure and transitions between the years and categories. The language used is often inaccurate and repetitive, with errors in grammar and vocabulary. To improve, focus on organizing the information more logically, using more precise language, and proofreading carefully for errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The flow of information is difficult to follow, and the connections between sentences and ideas are not always clear. Consider using more cohesive devices and organizing the information into more logical paragraphs, perhaps one paragraph per year or one comparing trends across years.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There's over-reliance on phrases like 'most highest result' and 'most lowest'. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data and trends more precisely. For example, instead of 'most highest,' use 'highest' or 'largest proportion.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the report, including incorrect verb tenses ('pie chart have compared'), incorrect word forms ('moneyspent'), and awkward phrasing. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate word choice. Proofread carefully to catch and correct errors.

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