Band 6+: the chart shows the fruit preferences of primary school children in new zealand

The report adequately covers the main features of the pie chart, providing a general overview and some specific data points. However, there are some areas for improvement. The report could benefit from a more structured approach, perhaps grouping similar fruits together for comparison. Also, while the report mentions the percentages, it could delve deeper into comparing the relative sizes of the segments to highlight significant differences. The language is generally clear, but there are a few instances where it could be more precise. For example, the phrase "almost the same amount of students like citrusy fruits like strawberries and oranges" is not entirely accurate, as the percentages for strawberries and oranges are quite different. Finally, the conclusion is a bit weak and doesn't add much value to the report. It could be strengthened by summarizing the main trends or drawing a more insightful conclusion based on the data.

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The second paragraph feels somewhat disjointed, and the connection between sentences isn't always clear. The flow of ideas could be smoother with better use of cohesive devices. For example, avoid starting consecutive sentences with percentages. The conclusion is weak and doesn't effectively summarize the main points.

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. Phrases like 'reached the highest amount of percentage' are not the most natural. Consider using synonyms and more specific vocabulary related to preferences and proportions. For instance, instead of 'like citrusy fruits like strawberries and oranges,' you could say 'prefer citrus fruits such as strawberries and oranges.'

There are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'Overall most of the pupils in primary school prefer sweet fruits as bananas' is grammatically incorrect. It should be something like 'Overall, most primary school pupils prefer sweet fruits such as bananas.' Also, 'Despite the debating opinions on different varieties of fruits 59% of kids prefer citrus fruits' is unclear and contains a logical error, as strawberries are not citrus fruits. Pay closer attention to sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions and articles.