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Band 6+: The chart shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010.

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Image for topic: The chart shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010.

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The image displays percentages of people born in and outside Australia residing in cities, towns, and rural areas for the years 1950 and 2010. In 1950, 50% of people born in Australia lived in cities, 30% in towns, and 20% in rural areas; for those born outside Australia, 60% resided in cities, 15% in towns, and 25% in rural areas. In 2010, people born in Australia saw 65% living in cities, 15% in towns, and 20% in rural areas; for those born outside, 80% lived in cities, 10% in towns, and 10% in rural areas.

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The chart above provides information on local citizens and the Australian immigrants occupying cities, towns, and suburban areas in 1950 and 2010. Overall, a significant number of the original population and newcomers live in the cities, leading to the plummeting number of people living in towns and suburban places.

The data shows a trend with Australian people moving to the urban places. As many as 60% of the indigenous living beings reside in the city. As a result, suburbs and rural citizens dropped to less than 20% in 2010 from 20% and 30% in 1950.

Similarly, a majority of 80% immigrants in Australia can be located in those developed areas by 2010. Another 10% settled in towns as a stable choice both in 1950 and 2010. However, a dramatic plunge was experienced with the percentage of those living in village-like sites with 40% in 1950 to merely 10% in 2010.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

towns: 3

living: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and makes some comparisons between the groups. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report states 'As many as 60% of the indigenous living beings reside in the city' when the chart shows 50% in 1950 and 65% in 2010. Also, the report states 'However, a dramatic plunge was experienced with the percentage of those living in village-like sites with 40% in 1950' when the chart shows 25% in 1950. To improve, ensure the data cited is accurate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview and follows a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and an attempt at an overall statement. However, the flow between sentences could be improved in places to enhance coherence. For example, transitions could be used more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs. Paragraphing is generally adequate, but could be refined to better group related information.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise ('suburban areas' instead of 'rural areas' in the overview, 'indigenous living beings' is awkward, 'village-like sites' is vague). Expanding the range of vocabulary related to describing trends and proportions would be beneficial. Also, avoid informal language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are present and affect clarity in some instances. For example, 'As many as 60% of the indigenous living beings reside in the city' is grammatically awkward. 'Another 10% settled in towns as a stable choice both in 1950 and 2010' is unclear. Careful proofreading to eliminate errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure is needed.

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