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Band 4+: The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

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The image presents three pie charts detailing game player demographics and preferences: the "Age of players" chart shows 23% under 18, 38% aged 18-36, 39% above 36; the "Gender of players" chart displays 28% male and 72% female; the "Types of games they like" chart indicates preferences for Role-playing games at 20%, Actions at 43%, Sports at 17%, Racing at 7%, Education at 7%, and Others at 6%.

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THE CHARTS PRESENT DATA ABOUT PLAYERS OF ELECTRONIC GAMES IN 2003 IN SOUTH KOREA. UNITS ARE MEASURED IN PERCENTAGES.

IN SUM, IT IS CLEAR THAT PEOPLE UNDER 18 AND MALES WERE MOST ATTENDED, AND THE MOST LIKED SORT OF GAME WAS ACTIONS. IN CONTRAST, PEOPLE OVER 36 AND FEMALES THE LEAST PARTICIPATED PLAYERS. ALSO, THE LEAST LIKED GAME TYPE WAS OTHERS.

TO BEGIN WITH, TEENAGERS CONSTITUTED HIGHEST RATE WITH 39%, IN CONTRAST, THE LEAST POPULAR GROUP OF PEOPLE WAS ABOVE 36, AND MADE UP 23%. ALSO, ADULTS BETWEEN 18 AND 36 CONSTITUTED 38%.

FURTHERMORE, THE SEX OF MALE CONSTITUTTED THE HIGHSET PROPORTION WITH 72%, HOWEVER, THE LOWEST RATE WAS MADE UP BY THE GENDER OF FEMALE.

IN TERMS OF GAMES, MOST POPULAR SORT OF GAME WAS ACTIONS WITH 43%, AS WELL AS SPORTS GAMES ACCOUNTING FOR 20%. MOREOVER, GAMES BASED ON EDUCATION AND ROLE-PLAYING COMPRISED 7%. EVENTUALLY, THE CATEGORIES OF GAME RACING AND OTHERS MADE UP 17% AND 6% RESPECTIVELY.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 4

people: 3

least: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides some relevant information from the charts, but there are inaccuracies and a lack of clarity in the data presentation. The organization is somewhat disjointed, and the language contains errors. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information more logically, and using precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is not always logical. The summary is not very effective, and the transitions between paragraphs are weak. To improve coherence, focus on creating a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs and use transition words to connect ideas smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic and that the information within it is presented in a logical order.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, which limits the precision and sophistication of the report. There is a lack of varied language to describe the data effectively. To enhance lexical resource, try to use synonyms and a wider range of vocabulary related to data description and comparison. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'constituted,' explore alternatives like 'accounted for,' 'represented,' or 'comprised.' Also, incorporate more specific and descriptive adjectives and adverbs to add detail and nuance to your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the information presented. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and verb tenses. Review and correct common errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and preposition usage. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your confidence grows. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

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