Multiple Graphs

Band 6+: The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Location of dance classes Community halls & other 18% 目 Private -studios 48% School halls (after-school) 24% College-based studios 10% Types of dance classes (by age group) Under 11 11-16 Ballet Tap Modern 100 200 96 →p. 136 300 400 Number of students 500 600 700

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Image for topic: The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Location of dance classes Community halls & other 18% 目 Private -studios 48% School halls (after-school) 24% College-based studios 10% Types of dance classes (by age group) Under 11 11-16 Ballet Tap Modern 100 200 96 →p. 136 300 400 Number of students 500 600 700

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The image shows a pie chart and a bar chart; the pie chart indicates that 50% of dance classes are at private studios, 30% at local community centers, 10% school halls, and 10% college-based; the bar chart details that for ages 5-11 and 12-18, ballet classes have 400 and 550 students respectively, jazz has 450 and 550, tap dance has 250 and 500, and modern dance has 250 and 400 students.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The two different charts provide information about the location of dance classes and their types by age brackets.

Overall, the share of private studios accounted for nearly half of the total, while the gaps between the two age groups in the types of dance classes were large.

As you can see, the percentage of private studios made up almost half of the total, thereby making it the largest proportion among the other figures, at 48%. There were two shares that had almost the same proportion: “community halls and other” and “school halls”, at 18% and 24%, respectively. By contrast, the smallest proportion was college-based studios, which accounted for just 10%.

Moving on to the next chart, which shows types of dance classes, the figure for ballet accounted for approximately 600 members aged under 11; however, the figure for students aged 11-16 was the smallest and had just 300 members. There was only one figure that had almost the same proportion in the two age groups. The figure for tap in students under 11 and aged 11-16 made up roughly 450 members.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

figure: 4

dance: 3

classes: 3

types: 3

studios: 3

accounted: 3

almost: 3

proportion: 3

members: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the requirements of the task by describing both charts and providing an overview. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting for the bar chart. The report claims ballet has 600 members for the under-11 group and 300 for the 11-16 group, which contradicts the provided visual information. Additionally, the comparison regarding tap dance is also inaccurate based on the data provided. To improve, ensure that the numbers extracted from the charts are transcribed accurately and that comparisons are based on the actual values shown. The structure and use of cohesive devices are generally good, but accuracy in data reporting is essential for a higher score.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs corresponding to the two charts. However, the progression within the second body paragraph is somewhat disjointed. The transition 'Moving on to the next chart' is functional but basic. To improve, try to use more sophisticated cohesive devices that link ideas rather than just signaling a change in topic. Additionally, ensure that the comparison between age groups is more fluidly integrated into the description of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing proportions (e.g., 'accounted for', 'proportion', 'made up'), but it lacks variety and sophistication. There is some repetition of words like 'figure' and 'proportion'. To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of synonyms for 'show' (e.g., 'illustrate', 'depict', 'reveal') and 'amount' (e.g., 'quantity', 'number', 'volume'). Be careful with word choice; for instance, 'members' is not the most natural term for students attending a class. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are inaccuracies that affect the precision of the report. For example, the phrase 'the figure for tap in students' is awkward; 'the number of students attending tap classes' would be more accurate. There is also a slight inconsistency in how data is presented (mixing 'proportion' with 'members'). Focus on ensuring that the grammatical subject matches the unit of measurement (e.g., use 'percentage' for pie charts and 'number' for bar charts) to improve accuracy.

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