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Band 5+: The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting and the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting and the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts two pie charts representing electricity usage by various sectors in Eastern Australia for 2007 and 2010. In 2007, the breakdown showed Residential at 28%, Commercial at 23%, Manufacturing at 13%, Aluminium at 13%, Mining and Transport each at 1%, and Other Metals at 12%. In 2010, the distribution adjusted to Residential at 28%, Commercial at 23%, Manufacturing at 9%, Aluminium at 13%, Mining at 9%, Transport at 1%, and Other Metals at 18%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart presents a clear insight of the percentage of electricity which was used in America in 2007 and 2010.

Overall, there are eight sectors and three types of differences: proportion that stayed the same – in transport, residential, commercial, agriculture and mining spheres. Also which grew a little or dropped.

Moving to the more detailed analysis, the percentage of both transport and agriculture was the smallest – 1% in 2007 and by 2010 it had not changed. The mining sphere was the second unpopular – 9% and consequently had not moved as others. Residential and commercial areas took significant parts of the chart – more than a quarter and 23% respectively in both years.

In addition there was data, which showed differences. For instance, the proportion of aluminum was 13% and by 2010 it went down to 11%. Similarly, the amount of electricity from manufacturing was the same as from aluminum and reduced to 9%. Other metals started as 12% and percentage experienced rice to 18%.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features and makes some comparisons, but there are inaccuracies and omissions. The data is not always accurately represented, and the organization could be improved for clarity. The report also contains some irrelevant information. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically, and ensuring all key features are addressed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. The 'Overall' paragraph introduces a categorization of differences (stayed the same, grew, dropped), but this isn't consistently applied throughout the report. Clearer paragraphing and transitions would enhance coherence. For example, grouping sectors with similar trends together or using more explicit transition words could help guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances of imprecise word choice ('unpopular' to describe percentages) and some awkward phrasing. Expanding the range of vocabulary and focusing on more precise language would improve the report. For example, instead of 'the mining sphere was the second unpopular,' consider 'the mining sector accounted for a smaller proportion' or 'the percentage of electricity used by the mining sector was relatively low.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede clarity and affect the overall impression. For example, 'percentage experienced rice to 18%' is grammatically incorrect. Focus on improving sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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