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Band 7+: The charts below show the percentage of secondary school students at a school in the UK taking different subjects in 1995 and this year

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The image contains two pie charts representing student subject percentages: in 1995, Geography 21%, RS 9%, Drama 12%, Business 16%, History 26%, Art 15%; currently, Geography 23%, IT 27%, Business 16%, History 25%, Art 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts provide information about different subjects taken by students in a secondary school in the UK between 1995 and now. In general, a majority of the students chose geography and history in 1995, and they still do so nowadays. However, whereas IT was the least preferred subject in 1995, it has since become the most popular one. Also, drama is no longer present these days.

Looking at the figures for history, geography, and IT, more than half of the students opt for them in 1995 – 26% for history, 21% for geography, and just 9% for IT, specifically. In the present, the total proportion has increased as IT now accounts for 27%, history makes up 25%, and geography comprises 23% of the chart. This makes IT the most chosen subject in present times.

Turning to the other subjects, only 16% of the students learned business in 1995, and this figure remains unchanged in present times. While there are 15% of the students taking art, this percentage dropped by 7% these days. Lastly, despite being chosen by 12% of the students, drama is no longer a subject at that school.

Word Count: 192

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 6

geography: 4

history: 4

present: 4

subject: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and provides a general overview with some comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report states that 'more than half of the students opt for them in 1995 - 26% for history, 21% for geography, and just 9% for IT'. This is inaccurate since the percentages for history, geography and IT do not add up to more than half. Also, RS is not mentioned in the third paragraph. To improve, ensure all data is accurate and that all categories are mentioned.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a logical flow of information. The use of cohesive devices is adequate, but there's room for improvement in making the connections between sentences and paragraphs even smoother. Consider using a wider range of transition words and phrases to enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate. However, there are opportunities to use more sophisticated and varied language to describe the data. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' consider synonyms like 'proportion,' 'share,' or 'fraction.' Also, try to incorporate more precise language to describe trends and changes. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. Review the report carefully to identify and correct any remaining errors. Also, try to incorporate a wider range of sentence structures to enhance the overall grammatical range.

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