Bar Chart

Band 6+: The charts below show the proportion of people's total spending on diﬀerent commodities and services in a particular European country in 1998 and 2008.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the proportion of people's total spending on diﬀerent commodities and services in a particular European country in 1998 and 2008.

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The image depicts two bar charts; the first chart shows numerical data points: Holiday - 8, Clothing - 12, Eating out - 6, Electronic goods - 6, Newspaper/Magazines - 16, Go to cinema - 3; the second chart shows Holiday - 5, Clothing - 18, Eating out - 6, Electronic goods - 6, Newspaper/Magazines - 20, Go to cinema - 1.

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The bar charts illustrate the proportion people who spend money on variety of services in 1998 and 2008 in a European country. Overall, while the proportion of people’s money spent on clothing and electronic goods increased, the reverse is true for expenditure on holidays, newspapers and going to cinemas. People’s expenditure on eating out did not changed.

Focusing on the increases first, the percentage of spending on electronic goods started at 16%. Then the figure increased significantly to 20%, remaining its position on top. Proportion of money spent on clothing saw a dramatic rise from 12% to 18%. The figure for eating out remained stable at 6% during the period.

In contrast, the figure for holiday, newspaper and magazines and going to cinema exhibited a downward trend. The percentage of money for going on a holiday spent by people dropped noticeably from 8% in 1998 to 5% in 2008. The proportion money which spent on magazines and cinemas witnessed a similar decline from 3% to a mere 1% in 2008.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

money: 5

proportion: 4

spent: 4

going: 3

figure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main trends and providing some specific data. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., electronic goods starting at 16% and increasing to 20% is incorrect). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider including more comparative language to highlight the most significant changes.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. The overview is adequate, but the body paragraphs could be more clearly structured. Consider grouping information more logically, perhaps by category of change (increase, decrease, stable) and ensuring smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some instances where more precise word choices could be used. For example, 'variety of services' could be more specific. Also, avoid informal language. Expanding your vocabulary related to describing trends and proportions would enhance the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'proportion people who spend money' should be 'proportion of people who spend money'. Also, 'remaining its position on top' is awkward and inaccurate. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the accuracy of your writing.

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