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Band 6+: The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

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The image shows a pie chart and a table. The pie chart depicts sector distribution with Finance/Banking at 39%, Marketing at 14%, Consultancy at 20%, Transport at 4%, Industrial at 9%, and Other at 14%. The table lists percentage changes compared to 2003: Finance/Banking at -17%, Consultancy at -0.5%, Marketing at -2.5%, Others at 0%, Industrial at +8%, and Transport at +8%.

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The statistics show graduate employment at top-ranked US universities in 2004, and how it is different compared to 2003

Overall, the proportion of graduates choosing to enter the finance/banking field was by far highest in 2004. Whereas this sector witnessed a biggest decrease, Industrial and Transport followed a contrasting pattern which were only two fields experienced upward trend at the previous year.

Coming to pie chart, the finance/banking graduates stood at the top of among sectors, approximately 40%, which was nearly twice as high as the figure of Consultancy. The third position belonged to Marketing sector, with 14%. Far below were the number of employment in Industrial and Transport, with respectively 9% and 4%. The remaining 14% of graduates in other fields compared to these five sectors.

Regarding the different changes from previous year, an upward trend was recorded in the number graduates working in Industrial and Transport, with 8% tendency. In contrast, finance/banking, marketing and consultancy had a decrease, with respective figures being 17%, 2.5% and 0.5%. Finally, the figure of other fields remained unchanged.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graduates: 4

finance/banking: 3

industrial: 3

transport: 3

fields: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview of the employment sectors and changes over time. There are some minor inaccuracies and occasional lapses in language. To improve, focus on using more precise language and ensuring all data points are accurately represented. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure for clearer communication.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The 'Overall' paragraph is a good start, but the subsequent paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader. Consider grouping related information together more effectively to enhance coherence. For example, discuss the sectors with increases and decreases in separate paragraphs to highlight the contrasting trends.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are opportunities to enhance it further. While words like 'proportion,' 'witnessed,' and 'contrasting pattern' are used, the language could be more precise and varied. For instance, instead of 'stood at the top of among sectors,' consider using 'accounted for the largest proportion.' Also, explore synonyms for frequently used words like 'figure' and 'number' to demonstrate a broader lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors impact clarity. Errors such as 'biggest decrease,' 'only two fields experienced upward trend,' and inconsistencies in article usage (e.g., 'the finance/banking graduates stood at the top of among sectors') need attention. Focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate article usage to improve grammatical accuracy. Proofreading carefully for these errors will enhance the overall quality of the report.

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Band 6+: The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

Other Topics:

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the bar chart gives information about the life expectancy in Japan, Korea, the USA, and Indonesia, and the table shows the change in life expectancy between 1953 and 2008.

The pie charts below show the comparison of exports in Great Britian over five years

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