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Band 5+: The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

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The image shows a pie chart and a table. The pie chart depicts sector distribution with Finance/Banking at 39%, Marketing at 14%, Consultancy at 20%, Transport at 4%, Industrial at 9%, and Other at 14%. The table lists percentage changes compared to 2003: Finance/Banking at -17%, Consultancy at -0.5%, Marketing at -2.5%, Others at 0%, Industrial at +8%, and Transport at +8%.

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The charts compare the proportions of US universities graduates employment in 2004 and 2013. Overall, it is clear that number of jobs of US graduates decreased in all sectors with exception of industries and transport, and finance and banking experienced a significant declines over the given timeframe.

To begin, finance banking, marketing, and consultancy declined. In 2004, the percentage of finance and banking stood at 39%; however, this proportion fell dramatically to -17% at the end of the period, which was the lowest of that period. Similarly, marketing started the period with the percentage 14; conversely, the number of US graduate employees in markets decreased to -2.5% in 2013. Likewise, in 2004, consultancy employed 14% US graduates in 2004, however, this proportion declined to to 0.5% at the end of the period.

On the other hand, industries and other showed a moderate climb over the timeframe. In 2004, 14% employees in industries in 2004 were US graduates.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graduates: 4

industries: 3

finance: 3

banking: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains inaccuracies and omissions. The description of the data is not always precise, and some sectors are not mentioned. The structure is present but could be improved for clarity. To improve, ensure all key features are included and described accurately, and pay attention to the logical flow of information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always smooth. The 'Overall' statement is not entirely accurate as it claims decreases in all sectors except industries and transport, while 'Other' also remained unchanged. The paragraphing is present but could be improved to better group related information. For instance, the discussion of increases and decreases could be more clearly separated and developed. Transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, such as 'proportions,' 'declined,' 'significant,' and 'moderate climb.' However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or varied. For example, using synonyms for 'percentage' or 'proportion' could enhance the lexical resource. Additionally, expanding the range of descriptive adjectives and adverbs would improve the overall quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'Overall, it is clear that number of jobs of US graduates decreased...' has subject-verb agreement issues and awkward phrasing. There are also issues with preposition usage ('in markets') and redundancy ('declined to to 0.5%'). Correcting these errors and ensuring accurate sentence structure would significantly improve the grammatical accuracy of the report.

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Band 5+: The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

The charts show the employments of graduates from top US universities in 2004 and the differences compared to 2013.

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