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Band 5+: The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image presents two pie charts detailing online sales distribution by category for 2009 and 2019; in 2009, travel constituted 38%, clothes 26%, music/film 20%, books 16%; in 2019, travel comprised 29%, clothes 15%, music/film 33%, books 23%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie chart demonstrate information about South American’s sales in online retail stores from 2009 to 2019

Overall, it can be clearly seen that there was significant decrease in travel sales, also important change was falling conditions of clothes sales. However, books, music and films increased over time.

In 2009 travel sales was in the lead position, making up to little less than half of pie chart. By the period of time travel fell in popularity and become 29%. About clothes sales, in 2009 clothes was lower than travel, but higher than everything else, almost a third. But while time passed by, the clothes sales went down and turn into the least of the given chart, only 15%.

For the music and films there were minimally changes, it went from 20% in 2009, to 33% in 2019. Books also weren’t slightly changed, in 2009 books sales was 16%, it had the least sales in pie chart, but it grew up to almost a quarter.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 8

chart: 4

travel: 4

clothes: 4

books: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and provides relevant data from the charts. However, there are some areas for improvement. The description of the data could be more precise, and the language used could be more accurate and varied. For example, instead of saying 'little less than half,' you could say 'just under half' or provide the exact percentage. Also, try to avoid repetitive sentence structures and vocabulary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate overview and some logical organization, but coherence could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, making the flow less smooth. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure a clearer progression of information. For example, using phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' can enhance the connections between different points.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but lacks sophistication. There is some repetition of simple words and phrases. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to sales trends and proportions. For instance, instead of 'increased,' you could use 'grew,' 'rose,' or 'expanded.' Instead of 'fell,' consider 'declined,' 'decreased,' or 'diminished.' Using more precise and varied language will enhance the quality of your report. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, 'travel sales was' should be 'travel sales were,' and 'minimally changes' should be 'minimal changes.' Pay closer attention to these basic grammatical rules to improve accuracy. Also, ensure that punctuation is used correctly to avoid confusion.

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Band 5+: The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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