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Band 6+: The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image presents two pie charts detailing online sales distribution by category for 2009 and 2019; in 2009, travel constituted 38%, clothes 26%, music/film 20%, books 16%; in 2019, travel comprised 29%, clothes 15%, music/film 33%, books 23%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart represents the percentage comparison of online sales for retail sectors in a South American country between year 2009 and 2019. The information is catagorized into four retail sector, including travel, clothes, music and film, and books.

When compares the online sales in 2009 and 2019, the travel and clothes sector had significant decreased. The sales of travel sector in 2009 covered 38% from overall while it decreased to 29% in 2019, which is similar to the sales of clothes sector that also decreased by 11% from 2009 to 2019. On the other hand, in 2019, the sales of music/film and books sector dramatically increased when compared to the sales in 2009. The sales of musice/film was significantly increased by 13% , and the sales of book was slightly increased by 7%.

Based on the change, the sales in travel had highest sales in 2009 while music and film had highest sales in 2019.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 11

sector: 5

travel: 4

clothes: 3

decreased: 3

increased: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main features of the pie charts, providing relevant comparisons between the online sales in 2009 and 2019. There is a clear overview of the changes in each sector. To improve, focus on enhancing the precision of language and ensuring grammatical accuracy throughout the report. For example, pay attention to verb tense consistency and article usage. Also, consider adding more specific details or elaborating on the reasons behind the changes to provide a more in-depth analysis.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider grouping information more logically, perhaps by discussing increases and decreases in separate paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and ideas could also be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing decreases to increases could be signaled more clearly. Also, avoid abrupt sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. Using synonyms for words like 'sales,' 'increased,' and 'decreased' would enhance the report. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'sales,' consider using 'revenue,' 'proportion,' or 'percentage.' Also, try to use more specific adjectives and adverbs to describe the changes. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement ('When compares' should be 'When comparing'), correct tense usage, and article usage (e.g., 'the travel and clothes sector had significant decreased' should be 'the travel and clothes sectors had significantly decreased'). Also, review sentence structure to ensure sentences are clear and grammatically correct.

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