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Band 4+: The charts show the percentage of boys and girls aged 5-14 taking part in cultural activities and sports in Australia in 2003.

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Image for topic: The charts show the percentage of boys and girls aged 5-14 taking part in cultural activities and sports in Australia in 2003.

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The image displays two bar charts comparing data on cultural activities and sports. In the 'Cultural Activities' chart for Drama: Boys 5, Girls 10; Dancing: Boys 2, Girls 25; Singing: Boys 5, Girls 15; Playing musical instrument: Boys 15, Girls 10. In the 'Sport' chart: Boys 70, Girls 50.

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The chart compares the proportion of boys and girls aged between 5 and 14 taking part in cultural activities and sports in Australia in 2003.

Overall, girls was good at drama, dancing and singing, whereas proportion of boys was followed similar upward patterns in sport and play musical instrument. In addition, figure of boys was highest at sport, percentages of girls was highest in dancing.

In Australia, 70% boys like sport compared to 15% boys who like musical instrument. Percentage of boys who like sport 70% making them considerably more higher than girls which almost 55%. However, figure of girls who good at dancing was 25% and boys was noticeably smaller than girls, almost 3%.

There are compared culture activities and lowes activities was drama and singing. However, percentage of girls in drama and singing was slightly higher than boys. The number of girls who used drama is as higher as singing to 5%, while percentages of boys was lowest than girls.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 9

drama: 4

singing: 4

sport: 4

activities: 3

higher: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and generalizations. The organization is present but could be improved for clarity. The language contains errors that affect understanding in places. To improve, focus on accurate data representation, clearer organization with more specific details, and careful proofreading for grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The ideas are not well-organized, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs are weak. The report needs better paragraphing and transitions to improve coherence. For example, the second paragraph introduces multiple observations without clear connections. Try to group related ideas together and use transition words to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. For example, the word 'like' is used multiple times. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express the data more accurately and avoid repetition. Consider using words such as 'participate in,' 'engage in,' or 'prefer' to add variety.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. For example, 'girls was good at drama' and 'percentage of boys who like sport 70% making them considerably more higher than girls which almost 55%' contain grammatical errors. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction to enhance accuracy.

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Band 9

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Band 5+

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Band 5+

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Band 4+

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