Pie Chart

Band 6+: The charts show the percentage of enrolments on six courses at a local education college in the UK in 2010 and 2012.

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The image features two pie charts comparing the percentage of enrollments in six courses: Nursing, Engineering, Social Studies, Psychology, Carpentry, and Sports Science at a local education college in the UK for the years 2010 and 2012. In 2010, Nursing 21.3%, Engineering 29.7%, Social Studies 15.1%, Psychology 12.7%, Carpentry 8%, Sports Science 11.9%. In 2012, Nursing 14%, Engineering 25.8%, Social Studies 18.5%, Psychology 21%, Carpentry 9%, Sports Science 12%.

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The charts below demonstrate the percentage of enrolments on six courses at a local education college in the UK in two different years: 2010 and 2012.

Overall, while the highest percentage of enrolments in 2010 can be seen in nursing courses, the greatest number of students was in sports science. In contrast, the least proportion of people enrolled was in carpentry in both years.

In terms of the biggest categories, nursing decreased significantly by 11.4 percents; similarly, the number of students taking social studies decreased suddenly by 6 percentages. However, the proportion of students enrolled in sports science increased steeply by 13.6 percents.

In comparison, the number of students hired in psychology cource rose slightly by 0.9 percentages, compared to carpentry witnessed a decline by 3 percents. Regarding studies with slight changes, engineering experienced an increase by 6.2 percentages.

Word Count: 139

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 4

number: 3

percentages: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key trends and provides some data, but there are inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data provided in the pie charts. For example, the report states that the greatest number of students in 2010 was in sports science, which is incorrect. Also, the percentages are not always calculated correctly. To improve, ensure accurate data representation and avoid misinterpreting the information presented in the charts. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to highlight key trends, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The flow of information between paragraphs is not always smooth, and some sentences feel disconnected. Consider using more transitional phrases to link ideas and improve the overall coherence. For example, you could use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'Conversely' to connect related points.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice. For example, using 'hired' instead of 'enrolled' is inaccurate. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and more precise terminology related to the context of education and enrollment figures. Focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the data and trends presented in the charts.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and misuse of prepositions. For example, 'nursing decreased significantly by 11.4 percents' should be 'nursing enrollments decreased significantly by 7.3 percentage points'. Also, there are inconsistencies in the use of singular and plural forms (e.g., 'percents' instead of 'percentage points'). To improve, carefully proofread your work and focus on mastering basic grammar rules. Pay attention to the correct use of tenses, articles, and prepositions.

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