Process Diagram

Band 4+: The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts the sugar production process, starting from growing sugarcane (12-18 months), followed by harvesting using a machine or manual labor, crushing to extract juice, purifying the juice with a limestone filter, evaporating the juice with heat as it becomes syrup, separating sugar crystals from syrup with a centrifuge, and finally, drying and cooling the sugar crystals.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Theese pictures illustrate the procedure of sugar production.Overall,the process involves 5 main stages:Growing and harvesting,crushing,purifying juice and evaporating,centrifuging and finally drying,cooling.

First of all,sugar canes are growded.Then,they are harvested by people manually or by machines.Next,sugar canes are crushed and turn into the juice.The resulting liquid is purified with the help of limestone filter.When the pot has been heated,juice is then added to the pot.After this,liquid evaporates and it becomes syrup.One of the main stages is that,this syrup is centrifuged for separate sugar crystals from syrup. At the end of process sugar is dried and cooled.

Finally, sugar is ready after this hard process

Word Count: 103

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sugar: 4

process: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately summarizes the sugar production process, hitting the main stages. However, there's room for improvement in terms of language precision and complexity. For example, varying sentence structure and using more precise vocabulary related to manufacturing processes would enhance the report. Also, while the main stages are mentioned, elaborating slightly on the transformations occurring at each stage could provide a more comprehensive overview. The conclusion is a bit simplistic; consider summarizing the overall efficiency or scale of the process if possible. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear paragraphing and transitions, making it difficult to follow the sequence of the sugar production process. The 'Overall' statement is a good start, but the subsequent description needs better connectors and a more logical flow. Consider grouping related steps into coherent paragraphs and using transition words to link ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. While the report covers the main stages, it could benefit from more precise and varied language to describe the processes involved. For example, instead of just saying 'crushed,' you could use 'milled' or 'processed.' Try to incorporate more specific terms related to manufacturing processes.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('growded'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is also quite simple and repetitive. Focus on improving basic grammar and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to catch and correct errors.

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