Process Diagram

Band 6+: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image illustrates the smoked fish making process with sequential steps: Catch, Transport, Port, Freeze, Thaw in fresh water, Cut open, Salt water plus yellow coloring, Smoke, Freeze at 0°C, Cold store, Distribution, Fish store.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The diagram displays how smoked fish is manufactured.

Overall, it is a linear process consisting of five main stages namely: catching, preparing, rinsing, freezing and delivering.

The first step of the process is to catch fish by throwing down the net and pulling it up. The caught fish are then taken to the boat and transported to a port, which is freezed by using a freezing machine. After a period of time, the frozen fish are washed in fresh water to remove impurities after thawing step.

In the next stage, the rinsed fish are cut open in half lengthwise, and subsequently are sent to a tube where salt water and yellow coloring are mixed. After adding some flavors, the fish are transferred to a smoking machine, where they are dried. The smoked fish is then put into boxes and continue to freeze again at a temperature of 0 degree Celsius for a certain period. Finally, the completed fish is delivered to fish store for selling.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

after: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview of the smoked fish production process. There are some minor inaccuracies and omissions, such as the specific details of the freezing stages and the cold storage step, but the main features are identified. To improve, ensure all key stages are accurately represented and consider using more precise language to describe the processes involved.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the smoked fish production process. The stages are presented in a logical sequence, making it easy to follow the process from start to finish. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, transitions between stages could be more explicitly linked to guide the reader more effectively. Consider using phrases like 'Following this,' 'Subsequently,' or 'As a result' to clarify the relationships between steps.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the process, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While terms like 'catching,' 'preparing,' 'rinsing,' 'freezing,' and 'delivering' are appropriate, incorporating more specific vocabulary related to fish processing could elevate the description. For example, instead of 'putting into boxes,' you could use 'packaged' or 'containerized.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition, such as 'preserved' instead of always using 'smoked.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are several errors that affect clarity. For example, 'which is freezed by using a freezing machine' should be 'which is frozen using a freezing machine.' Also, 'After adding some flavors' is vague; specify how the flavors are added. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement throughout the report. Proofreading carefully for these types of errors will improve the overall quality of your writing.

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