Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays an 11-step process that takes a total of six weeks to complete. The stages are numbered and titled as follows: 1 Waste, 2 Deposit, 3 Water, 4 Crush, 5 Process, 6 Erase with chemicals, 7 Heat, 8 Mould, 9 Weighting, 10 Rolling, and 11 New cans.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates the sequense of stages involved in the recycling process of aluminium cans, beginning from waste cans to rolling and new cans the final product.

Overall, the process is a multi-step procedure that involves physical preparation, deposit, water, crush, erase with chemicals, mould and rolling. The cycle is continuous, allowing used cans to be transformed into new cans repeatedly.

The process begins with to collected waste of cans and deposit, which is washed by water. Aftercheaning, the cans are crushed into small pieces and then processed further before undergoing a chemical treatment, which helps erase any remaining contaminants. This entire cleaning and processing stage takes approximately six weeks.

It is treated by heat, and to become mould. After, it is weighting by machine and rolling. Then, after new cans ready.

Word Count: 132

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 3

rolling: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies the main stages of the aluminium can recycling process, but it lacks detail and clarity in describing each step. The organization is somewhat logical, but the language used is basic and contains grammatical errors, which affect the overall coherence. To improve, focus on providing more specific details about each stage of the process and use more precise language. Also, ensure that your grammar is accurate to enhance clarity. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report provides a general overview of the aluminium can recycling process, but the flow of information could be improved. The organization of the paragraphs is somewhat disjointed, and the transitions between stages are not always clear. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall flow. For example, using phrases like 'Following this,' 'Subsequently,' or 'As a result' can help guide the reader through the process more smoothly. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the process to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing the process, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. While words like 'transformed,' 'contaminants,' and 'procedure' are appropriate, the report could benefit from more specific vocabulary related to recycling and manufacturing processes. For instance, instead of 'physical preparation,' you could use terms like 'sorting' or 'pre-processing.' Consider expanding your vocabulary to include more technical terms relevant to the diagram's subject matter.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Issues such as incorrect verb tenses ('begins with to collected waste'), missing articles ('washed by water'), and awkward phrasing ('It is treated by heat, and to become mould') need attention. Focus on using correct grammatical structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Review basic grammar rules and practice constructing more complex sentences accurately. Pay close attention to punctuation as well, as errors in punctuation can also impact the readability of the report.

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