Process Diagram

Band 6+: the diagram below shows the recyling process of aluminium cans. summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: the diagram below shows the recyling process of aluminium cans. summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a diagram detailing the recycling process of aluminium cans, noting that 74% are recycled in the UK. The circular process consists of several stages starting with REUSING, depicted by a person drinking from a can, which leads to the RECYCLING stage, represented by a single can. This is followed by HEATING AND MELTING in a furnace, then a multi-step process of CLEANING/SORTING/SHREDDING/COMPRESSING. The subsequent stage is ROLLING, where material is transported by a truck, leading to COLLECTION in a bin, which then cycles back to the REUSING stage.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram represents the way in which aluminium cans recycle.

Overall, it can be seen that the process is cyclic and man-made, which contains six stages beginning with collection of cans and ending with 74% of the production of new reusable products in the UK.

In terms of first stages, it starts with picking up the used cans which were thrown away by people and transporting them with a special truck where it can be prepared before it’s recycled. Afterwards, a collection of aluminium cans undergo several processes such as cleaning, sorting cans that are suitable for recycling, shredding into small pieces by crasing machine and turn into to the compressed blocks, before going to further stages.

As for the further stages, after being compressed by machine it goes though high temperature for being melted. At the next and final stage, there is new recycled products that is ready for reusing by people.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 3

stages: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the aluminium can recycling process, but it lacks specific details and accurate descriptions of all the stages involved. The organization is somewhat clear, but the description of each stage could be more detailed and precise. To improve, focus on providing a more comprehensive and accurate description of each stage in the recycling process, including all the steps mentioned in the diagram. Also, ensure that the information is presented in a clear and logical sequence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally understandable manner, but the organization could be improved. The description of the stages feels somewhat disjointed. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to connect the stages and create a smoother flow. For example, phrases like 'Following this,' 'Subsequently,' or 'As a result' could enhance the coherence. The introduction and overview are adequate, but the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each stage.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit vague (e.g., 'special truck,' 'further stages'). Try to use more specific and descriptive language related to recycling processes. For instance, instead of 'picking up the used cans,' you could say 'collecting discarded cans.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition of words like 'process' and 'stage.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Some examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('cans recycle'), incorrect pronoun usage ('before it's recycled'), and awkward phrasing ('turn into to the compressed blocks'). Pay close attention to sentence structure and ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct. Proofreading carefully for errors in verb tense, articles, and prepositions will also improve the accuracy of your writing.

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