Band 4+: The diagram details the process of making wool. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The report addresses the main stages of the wool-making process, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The overview mentions nine stages and ends with balls of yarn, which is partially correct, but the final products (carpets and jackets) are not clearly identified as the end point. The description of the process is generally sequential, but some details are inaccurate (e.g., 'recycled' may be misinterpreted) and the branches (tufts, string, balls of yarn) are not fully clarified. To improve, ensure the overview accurately reflects the entire process, including the final products, and describe each stage with precise vocabulary. Also, avoid minor grammatical errors and use a range of linking words to enhance coherence. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, 'after these actions' is vague, and the connection between recycling and the next step could be smoother. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'subsequently', 'following this', 'once...') and ensure each sentence clearly links to the next. Paragraphing is acceptable but could be improved by separating the main process from the branches more clearly.

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the process (e.g., 'sheared', 'cleaned', 'dried', 'recycled', 'tufts of wool', 'knitting'). However, there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrases, such as 'industrial cyclear process', 'specialised machine make', 'shelves of tufts storage', and 'this balls of yarn are used to knitting'. To improve, use more precise and natural collocations (e.g., 'the process begins with', 'the wool is then spun into string', 'stored on shelves', 'used for knitting'). Expand your range of synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate flexibility.

The report contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity. These include subject-verb agreement ('machine make', 'this balls'), incorrect plural forms ('sheeps', 'tuples'), and misuse of articles ('process how woll is made' should be 'the process of how wool is made'). There are also issues with verb forms ('are being sheared' is awkward; 'are used to knitting' should be 'are used for knitting'). To improve, practice using a wider range of sentence structures, including passive voice and complex sentences, and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles throughout.