Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram shows the process for labelling shellfish for the international market. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

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Image for topic: The diagram shows the process for labelling shellfish for the international market. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

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The image depicts a diagram illustrating the process of artisanal fishing and monitoring with GPS location devices. There is a satellite in the sky that connects to three GPS points on land and sea. The first GPS point represents the artisanal fishing boats equipped with GPS location devices. The second GPS point represents a certified shellfish international market where local and international consumers receive shellfish. The third GPS point indicates a shellfish processing plant that processes the catch and a labeling system that attaches a barcode label to certify the catch. Additionally, there is a monitor in Santiago that is connected to the GPS system for automated monitoring of shellfish boats.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This diagam depicts the process for labelling shellfish for the global market.

At the begining, the previous stage that called an artisanal fishing, means shellfish boats being tracked with a help of a special equipment – the satellite,that monitors them with GPS signals as well.After it,this data,collected with a help of monitors,located in the Santiago city, transformed into the labelling system of certification.This helps generate a barcode label to verify catch.

Next,caught shellfish go to processing plant, where the product is gotten and after it, undergo a stage of transporting by plane, otherwise, via trucks, where local and international consumers receive them.

At the end,labeled shellfish can be delivered in any country all over the world, followed by the next use of them.

Overall,the process of shellfish’ labeling consists of five crucial steps,beginning with monitoring,followed by artisanal fishing,then moving to labeling system and shellfish processing,ending with delivering them worldwide for the following use.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

shellfish: 5

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main stages of the process and provides an overview. However, there are some inaccuracies in the logical sequencing of the steps. For instance, the report suggests that data is transformed into a labeling system before the shellfish reach the processing plant, whereas the visual description implies the labeling occurs at the processing plant. Additionally, the overview lists the steps in an order that slightly contradicts the flow described in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that the chronological order of the process is strictly maintained and that the relationship between the monitoring data and the physical labeling of the product is clearly defined.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical sequence, but the progression is often interrupted by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. While you attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'At the beginning', 'After it', 'Next', 'At the end'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or feel repetitive. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of transition signals and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next. Avoid overusing 'after it' and instead use subordinating conjunctions like 'once', 'after which', or 'subsequently' to create more sophisticated connections.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but there is a lack of precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices (e.g., 'the product is gotten', 'the previous stage that called') and spelling errors ('diagam', 'begining'). To reach a higher band, aim to use more academic and precise terminology related to processes, such as 'harvested' instead of 'gotten', or 'distributed' instead of 'delivered'. Work on collocations to ensure words are paired naturally.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with sentence structure (e.g., 'the previous stage that called an artisanal fishing, means shellfish boats being tracked...'), subject-verb agreement, and the use of relative clauses. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas. I recommend practicing complex sentence structures, such as passive voice (which is essential for process diagrams), and ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and predicate.

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